Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all,
My name is Kate and I own my own business. I wonder if anyone else has experienced anything similar. One of my customers has befriended me. I sell crystals and crystal jewellery etc so I tend to get lots of messages with people telling me their issues in life. That can be fine unless it gets too much and too often. So because me and this customer have struggled both with similar health issues she has clung to me and messages me everyday. This is too much and I don't even message life long friends daily. If I do not reply straight away she messages me on my personal profile and then comments on my business posts on FB. It is message after message and I feel bombarded. If I reply saying that I am busy and will get back to her as soon as possible I either get a passive aggressive " jokey " reply for example
" ooo you're too busy for me, haha joking " or a really over the top " Oh I am so so so sorry, please forgive me "
Today I have had the same issue that keeps arising.
I post regular sales on my FB page. She will always message and tell me that I should be sending her pictures of all the sale items first and " No posting sale items without showing me " Which can take up to an hour and I really do not have time to do that and I cannot favour her over other customers that would like me to do the same. (my items can sell rather quickly) and I would not have any items to post haha. I replied to let her know that I would be too busy to send her all the items first and I got a passive aggressive reply saying " how rude " and how she was joking.
I really do not know if I am wrong by feeling this way but I do feel like she is very passive aggressive towards me. It is becoming very overwhelming and now I am sat here struggle to get on with my work because her message has wound me up. I want to stay professional and the thought of telling her how she is making me feel, makes me feel sick. She is a nice lady but at the same time I feel like she is hinting for me to send her freebies as I have done in the past and has seemed to hint at me rigging raffles so that she would win.
Any advice would be really appreciated. Am I being over the top by feeling this way?
I have had lots of people treat me this way and take advantage of me in the past, so I feel very angry and upset at the moment.
Even if you were the type to message people often, this would still feel ‘off’. She clearly doesn’t know boundaries and is somewhat fixed on you and your products. Most people buy and browse and ask questions. If they like what you do, they’ll like your post or leave a nice comment. They wouldn’t try to befriend you. Obviously you have been polite and entered into some conversation with her because you felt you had to. (You didn’t lol). So, please don’t feel bad about not replying. Continue to do what you do and simply ignore the messages. If they are on your product page, you could ‘like’ a comment, or simply reply ‘thanks’. Anything short and sharp. If they are in email, ignore them. If they are on Instagram or messenger, mute the messages so you don’t have to see them and get more overwhelmed. Yes, she’s a customer, but so are other people, so you don’t owe her anything. I actually feel like she’s buying just to hold something over you. I hope you can resolve this, as I can really empathise with the situation.
Yes I agree that it seems she likes to hold something on me. Or at least I feel that way. In the past she has said "What would you do without my custom" kind of thing. Like my business would fail without her support. Obviously this was said in a jokey, passive aggressive way. I really cannot stand when people do the mean, jokey jibes. Just say what you mean. I hate having to read between the lines. Thank you for your advice