Small business Owner - Issues with customers

I have a business of my own, not being able to hold I job so....

First off, it is not your job to babysit this person nor to see to their emotions. That is their job. So. Cut bait and walk away, you are being taken advantage of. You cannot win this one. This person is not your friend, they are are an energy vampire.

I learned this sort of lesson the hard way myself. It comes from feeling that other people's feelings and situations are my responsibility. I struggled with these sorts of people,too, feeling physically ill at the thought of being confrontational when I was simply being assertive and showing self determination. "Girls should be demure and self sacrificing." sort of thing. I grew up hearing this BS.

Therapy helped me enormously and I got to really do some really serious screaming in that safe therapeutic space shedding all the years of silence.

Also just being around watching, alive 70years, reading a lot about narcissists - which your client is -and addictive personalities slowly drove me to healthier ways of managing myself.  

You seem to have a trusting and caring nature and your client is taking advantage of that. You may have been conditioned to believe, as I was from an early age, that it was up to me to make everyone else be happy and if they were not it, was my fault. You may be interested in this check list and website. You can sub "addictive personalities" for "alcoholic" if that shoe fits better.

There are some shared traits in being an ACA with being autistic. Perhaps this double whammy made me more prone to be being a recipient of abuse.

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How I would deal with your "client".

Ban and block them first and then send a private message, that way they cannot engage in character assassination on your business sites, which is often the next level of abuse with these A•• hats.

Blunt and to the point. PRIVATELY say something like - not trying to be nice:

"I feel bombarded, over whelmed and invaded by your level of attention and your insistence on receiving special treatment. This is a breach of my good will and bad for my livelihood. Please stop."

Keep it short and to the point. I would not give them a chance to respond at all but if you do (bad idea) and get something like..

"what, me, what about me? poor me?" just say "I've said enough. I have blocked you and dropping you as a client. Do not contact me again."

What ever you say you will do, you will have to follow through on it or they will see you as even weaker and then the gloves will come off. Then the overt abuse will begin. You obs have lots of other clients to keep them safe and in your good graces is the most important thing now.

PM me if you like.

Setting clear boundaries is key here. You could politely let her know that while you appreciate her support, you're unable to respond to messages immediately and that all customers have equal access to your sales.It might also be helpful to direct her to your business policies or FAQ section, where you can outline how you handle sales and customer interactions. This way, you're not singling her out, but rather referring her to your standard procedures.But don't feel guilty for setting boundaries to protect yourself and your business.You might also want to look into a system like [link removed by moderator] to help streamline your business processes and make things easier for you. It could help with managing customer interactions more efficiently.

This, you are a business not a friend, which she doesn't even sound like she's treating the OP as one tbh it looks more like the typical narcissist that's got some attention and thinks you owe them something for them being in your life. It's not about what this woman can do for the OP in her mind but what she can get from the OP, sales, special treatment, attention. And no doubt she would not take it as a sign she has overstepped teh mark with OP if OP(Fay) blocked her. Narcissists will lash out and not go with any dignity and she is likely to target the business by leaving a snotty review or several. The best thing is to just keep a prefessional distance from people while at work and only make friends outside of that.

Hey! It's essential to communicate your boundaries clearly and calmly with your customer. You can let her know that while you appreciate her friendship, managing her messages and requests is becoming difficult while running your business. You can also politely let her know that you cannot send her pictures of sale items, as it's not feasible given your workload. If you're interested in promoting your business, I also suggest checking out SEO companies like Crowdo, which posts [removed link by mod] on the internet to make your site move up on Google to the top. I hope that helps, and good luck!

you can do a few things as this is getting to be harassment, but you need to stop encouraging her by answering. 

Make a template wording something like, "all our products are listed on our page . then put the link to your page" then do not say anything else, Also make it out that someone else is working with you for example lets imagine your name is Kate then sign off the message with another name like Peter. As for your personal facebook set it to ignore her messages. 

hope that helps, but you need to stop answering her, seems like she might have a condition too but she is now harassing you and she needs counselling or to go to see a doctor.

your customer sounds like she has some mental health issues herself and should be checked and receive help.

there isnt much you can do about it really, you will probably benefit off it though as such a person will likely have a symptom of unstable spending in which they will likely overspend at your store and give you alot of custom.

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Thank you, I appreciate that and I do feel she has some issues of her own too.

Yes I agree that it seems she likes to hold something on me. Or at least I feel that way. In the past she has said "What would you do without my custom" kind of thing. Like my business would fail without her support. Obviously this was said in a jokey, passive aggressive way. I really cannot stand when people do the mean, jokey jibes. Just say what you mean. I hate having to read between the lines. Thank you for your advice

Even if you were the type to message people often, this would still feel ‘off’. She clearly doesn’t know boundaries and is somewhat fixed on you and your products. Most people buy and browse and ask questions. If they like what you do, they’ll like your post or leave a nice comment. They wouldn’t try to befriend you. 
Obviously you have been polite and entered into some conversation with her because you felt you had to. (You didn’t lol). So, please don’t feel bad about not replying. Continue to do what you do and simply ignore the messages. If they are on your product page, you could ‘like’ a comment, or simply reply ‘thanks’. Anything short and sharp. If they are in email, ignore them. If they are on Instagram or messenger, mute the messages so you don’t have to see them and get more overwhelmed. 
Yes, she’s a customer, but so are other people, so you don’t owe her anything. I actually feel like she’s buying just to hold something over you. I hope you can resolve this, as I can really empathise with the situation.

that sounds like a difficult situation, you don't want to upset or loose a customer but you also need to keep your boundaries. From what you say it sounds like she might have some issues of her own. I hope you manage to navigate the situation

I think I have gone wrong in the beginning by engaging with personal conversations. I will be making sure it is more professional moving forward, Thank you