Published on 12, July, 2020
My cousin is nearly 50. She has not been formally assessed or diagnosed with autism but has exhibited many classic signs all throughout her life.
Until very recently she lived a protected life with her Mum, and we all simply made allowances for her tendencies. We call it walking on eggshells. She had a terrible time in school and was tested for all sorts of learning disabilities but was never tested for autism. Very frustrating. Now it has become the elephant in the room; it is like we all "think" she is autistic, albeit high functioning, but no-one dare broach it with her directly for fear of really upsetting her.
Last week her Mum died unexpectedly. The family home will be sold, and her siblings will help her find her own flat. This is all going to be so traumatic for her. She will need financial help through PIP as the family is not wealthy, but to do so, she will need to be assessed or diagnosed.
My question is this: After years of never having discussed with her the possibility of being autistic, HOW on earth do we go about doing it now? SHOULD we even consider it? Now that she is an adult, CAN we? In hindsight, it is something that should have been done years ago and would most likely have helped her. I know she feels different and is easily upset but we have all tried to support her in the wrong way, by pretending there was not a reason for how she felt.
All suggestions gratefully received.
I agree with Shardovan.
I'd like to add that PIP requires a person to be unable to carry out daily living skills (self care like washing, dressing, making meals, etc.) and be unable to communicate and/or understand, be unable to go places independently. It sounds like your cousin may have difficulties with these skills but I'd suggest looking into the specifics of what PIP claims require.
If she requires a carer, there is the Carers Allowance benefit (I don't know about the requirements for that). Also, perhaps her GP can be of help if he or she is familiar with your cousin's issues. Good luck.