Published on 12, July, 2020
I was out yesterday with a person whom I met for the second time in my life. We watched a documentary in cinema, called The Cathedral I'd recommend it, and chatted afterwards for 2 hours in what seemed to me a very noisy place, which is a regular bar without any loud music. Sometimes the noise seemed unbareable and sometimes I was focused on the discussion so I didn't notice it much. I had one beer and didn't find our discussions very interesting, they were just ok. Maybe because it's a new person to me and I'm not sure how meaningful, personal discussions can be. I tried my best not to mask, which means I didn't put lot of effort to smile at whatever is said to me or try hard to seem engaged, interested and come up with topics. I was just trying to do what makes sense to me. This is all new to me..
Today, It's like I have a hangover. I can't handle listening to music while working, even tho I usually do. I don't want to socialise with others. I feel like someone who can't even smell alcohol after a long night of drinking. I am drained and slightly out of energy. Like a down mood. I am even bit tired to work as well but I still can handle it.
I'm very new to the realisation that I probably am on the spectrum. I'm very new to unmasking and realising all thess things while and after socialising in public spaces. I have planned meeting with a friend tomorrow and I'm not sure if I can do it! sorry if you find this story boring or without any interesting content, but it would mean a lot if someone can relate to it, maybe tell me about how you experience these situations or give me some info so I can research more and maybe understand my needs better.
Hi Ree,
Have you ever heard of spoon theory. It’s used across disability communities and I find it very useful in terms of talking about how my autism affects me. It essentially an idea of managing and tracking energy. Every day you have a certain amount of spoons, different tasks take varying amounts of spoons. Doing other things might recover some spoons. Using less spoons one day might give you more the next, or using more one day will give you less the following day. Generally speaking once you’ve used your spoons for the day you’re done but there is the idea of overspending spoons. So using spoons you don’t actually have leaving you in a spoon deficit of sorts.
You did something pretty spoon intensive yesterday by my standards, yours might be different, so to me it’s not surprising to find that you are struggling today as you have a lot less energy. Having that lesser amount of energy can make sensory experience harder to deal with.
If you want to do things tomorrow, then it’s important to try and recover today. Don’t push to hard in work, do things that relax you and give you energy this evening and get plenty of sleep.
You’re definitely not alone when it comes to experiencing social hangovers.
Hope this has helped and you feel better,
Dan
Oh, I'm already reading about it. I've never thought about it before. I'm in tears right now discovering all those ways and tools that can help me understand myself and actually help myself be happier.. it's unbelievably long time that I went through similar situations without knowing what to do