Published on 12, July, 2020
A discussion in this forum made me ask myself this question, what's gender?. I googled it but what I found there didn't make much sense to me. I always thought that the gender of the other person doesn't tell me much about who they are. It just informs me about the appropriate pronouns that this person wants me to use with them. Frankly I don't care about figuring out my gender. I was born in a woman's body and I never felt like it's the wrong one. I think I'd feel the same if I was born in a man's body. I have never spent time thinking about this part of myself because I never thought that it's important enough to me. I'll be the same person anyway, no? I don't think it would change much about who I am... Can anyone share how they understand gender?
Not sure how this will go down but, choice is often connected to our preferences when talking about pronouns and gender politics. However, I also think it's important to say, you also have a choice in how you react.
I am male and would be typically a he/him pronoun. If someone mistook me for a female or decided to call me she/her etc, I can of course choose to be offended. But I would likely choose to laugh and move on.
There is immense sensitivity in what I consider 'label politics' today and I think it's often a case of self-control that is lacking.
The two experiences are not comparable because you do not have the same issues and trauma around your gender.
It's more like someone calling me "spaz" like they used to at school when I didn't understand things. Something that presses on sensitive areas, reminding you that you are different and that you have failed to be what you desire to be.
If someone honestly forgets and gets a pronoun wrong, the trans people I know would gently correct them even though it's still uncomfortable. If someone is deliberately using a word that that they have been told is upsetting, then they are simply being unkind.
I agree that if it's done on purpose...
But in the spirit of this forum, I'll leave my opinions, from a male perspective, for another day as I detect they won't be constructive here