Published on 12, July, 2020
I’m just wondering how many of those with an autism diagnosis, either also have an ADHD diagnosis, or it was mentioned at the assessment it may be worth getting assessed for it too? And how that means your ‘double’ diagnosis makes you differ from typical autism traits (yes I know it’s a spectrum but hopefully you get what I mean).
I guess I’m wondering if it may make people even more alienated from the autism community? For context it was mentioned to me at my assessment but I decided for the time being not to ask for an ADHD assessment as I couldn’t deal with the whole process. But the way both seem to clash in my head I think it pretty likely I am.
Which leads me on to the second part of this post. Very occasionally I’ll be completely over excited by something, and when I calm down I can look at it and see that I guess most adults maybe wouldn’t become that excited about something. But because it feels like people ignore or don’t join in with my elation, it makes me feel like such an idiot afterwards that I want to withdraw even more. A bit like the next day hangover where you are completely embarrassed about your behaviour. Though tbh when I look at it today, it was basically me being overly happy because I’d worked out how to do something (work wise) that I’d been struggling to find a solution for, for a few years. I had already been talking online about it with a few others in that field, and when I worked out the problem for myself the next day I posted about it in the same thread. Clearly showing how happy I was with lots of exclamation marks and probably not being entirely coherent, more of an over excited ramble. But the other half of me can’t work out if they all slowly took a few steps back away from the weirdo, or if they were annoyed that I’d found my own solution instead of doing what they told me to try (which I knew wouldn’t work).
I don’t even know the point of this post anymore, but I do know the clash of autism and adhd in my brain is driving me mad, and I’d quite like a day off thank you very much.
I've not been assessed for ADHD, though people who know me have said I show traits.
I understand your excitement, I would be excited also. My excitement over things often leads to very embarrassing moments, that I obviously then have to constantly relive in my head.
Yes this happens with me too. In fact I’m sitting here remembering something that happened 10 years ago at a type of course, where I was so shy throughout the whole thing but then exceeded at a certain part and showed my elation. The way people looked at me still brings strong feelings of sadness and embarrassment even now :(
I think it’s probably why as I’ve got older the excited part of me has been buried away because I’ve learned that it’s now always associated with negative feelings afterwards. Or maybe it’s because I don’t put myself in those situations anymore or interact with people so they can’t see it.
I'm waiting for an ADHD assessment still. The waiting list is huge and my right to choose one keeps getting lost.
I can relate to these though. get so excited I do or say something I regret then think about it for a long time after. Sometimes years later it'll pop back into my mind and it's like reliving the humiliation all over again and second guessing everything. It's tiring.