Published on 12, July, 2020
I’ve read a few bits since being here that have got me thinking today. Although I’m glad I found out I’m asd, and it explains so much of my life, I’m also angry because honestly I’d really rather not be. I’m also starting to think it’s taking over my life… Everything I do now in the back of my head it’ll be ‘thats the autism’. So part of that is well it’s okay, you don’t need to feel bad about not fitting in anymore or the meltdowns, but now I can’t get it out of my head. It’s almost like I’ve become stuck. Constantly reading about it, assessing things I do, knowing that if I don’t want to do something I don’t actually have to because of it. That in itself is becoming another addition that’s contributing to the burnout, which is ridiculous.
Anyone else feel like this?
Hi I had this after I realised I was autistic. This co-incided with lockdown so didn't have a massive amount else to do. I watched so many videos on ASD, a few of which I really identified with. Being in my 50's I have no idea what is me, what is asd, what is adhd, even though I have read so much. Don't beat yourself up about it, give yourself time and space to work things out, but be aware you may never work things out.
Rob
I’m the same age. I’ve stopped watching YouTube videos now a while ago as I felt it was getting repetitive. And I agree, I don’t even know what would be me without the masking, because at my age this is all I know. I was also told to consider getting an adhd assessment but I decided against that. I think I know enough that it’s definitely there. And yes, I don’t think I’ll ever work it out, possibly I would have if this had come to light when I was younger.