Published on 12, July, 2020
This isn’t a criticism, just an observation. In fact my heart goes out to those prone to doing it as they seem to be experiencing a particular form of autistic ‘blind-spot’ that may leave them feeling isolated and unheard when really they’ve just been shouting into the dark without realising.
The phenomenon in question: basically someone newish to the forum sensibly browses for threads on topic x rather than start a totally new thread. But as they read through, they hone in on one point made by one user and reply to it, asking a question of them perhaps. In many cases, that user has not been around for quite a while, but the new person seems unaware of this statistical likelihood and Unless one of us points it out they are left like a tree falling in the forest. One of us will maybe spot their comment and help them out by pointing out that no response will ever come. But other times we might just be confused why an old thread has bobbed up to the surface and can’t see the recent comment buried among the old ones.
I have not practical advice to offer. It just makes me feel a bit wistful and sad for the person with that vulnerability to not factoring in the passage of time. Does anyone get that poignant feeling about it all? It makes me sad. Not just for the ‘ignored’ person but for the many lost ‘ghosts’ who we may one day be sooner than we intended. I miss everyone in advance, all the time. And complacency in this place will never take hold as departures of both kinds recently, (as well as more mayfly forum existences) will not be the last. I like and appreciate everyone who’s here, even if they’re just quietly sitting ‘at the back’ - all losses are felt keenly. Best wishes to all.
That is sad especially when it's someone who didn't get a response. The way of forums I suppose, everyone goes at some point. I like the current list of regular members a lot, you're all interesting and cool people and I feel lucky to get some of your valuable time. I'm not as active as I'd like but I try to help people if I can.
Hello Paige - nice to make your acquaintance. I agree that everyone goes at some point....I very nearly did, last week.
Intolerance is a trigger for me. Unfairness is a trigger for me. Unfortunately, we recently lost a few of our "elder statesmen and stateswomen and states-whatshowsoever." In my opinion, they were some of the most reasoned and intentionally careful souls - the type that this community REALLY needs to maintain a healthly and sustainable balance of lived experience and opinion.
I have returned, predominantly because I was watching the MODS (our long suffering and volunteering kindly souls) needing to jump into threads merely to say Hi to people who come here for help and reassurance - but who were being ignored and/or overlooked. Lets all say thanks again to our MODS.
In my short experience of this place, and my "leap of faith" to interact with the world in this wholly unnatural and "dangerous" medium/media I have noticed that people don't particularly want to have "high-end" nor especially insightful nor indemnified advice - they merely seek connection, acceptance and reassurance about all-things-autistic.
Therefore, if you can Paige - just jump in and give your opinion and advice on matters as you see fit. You are as valid and real as anyone in this place. I have no clue which is my elbow and which is my.......y'know.
I have needed to work through the implications and dichotomous reality of how and why some of our most established folk felt it necessary to leave recently.
Apologies for sermonising at you.....I am still seethingly cross about this matter - especially because of my perception of resultant harm being imposed on newbies to this place. I've decided to come back before I have properly centred myself, and despite my genuinely altruistic reasoning behind that dangerous decision, I might live to regret that. I've opted to take the dangerous route because people in this place quite literally saved my life - I want to return the favour to the next guy, lass, or whowhatsoever etc.
Pleasure to meet you and welcome back, I'm glad you're still here. I'll reply fully later on, I've got to head out now.