Published on 12, July, 2020
This isn’t a criticism, just an observation. In fact my heart goes out to those prone to doing it as they seem to be experiencing a particular form of autistic ‘blind-spot’ that may leave them feeling isolated and unheard when really they’ve just been shouting into the dark without realising.
The phenomenon in question: basically someone newish to the forum sensibly browses for threads on topic x rather than start a totally new thread. But as they read through, they hone in on one point made by one user and reply to it, asking a question of them perhaps. In many cases, that user has not been around for quite a while, but the new person seems unaware of this statistical likelihood and Unless one of us points it out they are left like a tree falling in the forest. One of us will maybe spot their comment and help them out by pointing out that no response will ever come. But other times we might just be confused why an old thread has bobbed up to the surface and can’t see the recent comment buried among the old ones.
I have not practical advice to offer. It just makes me feel a bit wistful and sad for the person with that vulnerability to not factoring in the passage of time. Does anyone get that poignant feeling about it all? It makes me sad. Not just for the ‘ignored’ person but for the many lost ‘ghosts’ who we may one day be sooner than we intended. I miss everyone in advance, all the time. And complacency in this place will never take hold as departures of both kinds recently, (as well as more mayfly forum existences) will not be the last. I like and appreciate everyone who’s here, even if they’re just quietly sitting ‘at the back’ - all losses are felt keenly. Best wishes to all.
It always leaves a disappointing feeling when someone moves on from the forum. Over time there's been a lot of regulars who suddenly left or died, and then there's members who were new but weren't answered and I guess felt like they were ignored. I think a simple "Hello" doesn't take much to quickly type, and pointing them in the direction of advice and guidance, at least that way they might find something that will help them. I don't like leaving people feeling like they're on their own. I'm someone who does feel unwanted and alone a lot of the time and it's not a nice feeling to have. I apologise if I miss anyone who hasn't been answered but I do try to reply when I can because this is such a warm and safe space everyone who needs it should be here. It's saved my life so many times, I owe you all everything. Big thanks to you all.