Published on 12, July, 2020
This isn’t a criticism, just an observation. In fact my heart goes out to those prone to doing it as they seem to be experiencing a particular form of autistic ‘blind-spot’ that may leave them feeling isolated and unheard when really they’ve just been shouting into the dark without realising.
The phenomenon in question: basically someone newish to the forum sensibly browses for threads on topic x rather than start a totally new thread. But as they read through, they hone in on one point made by one user and reply to it, asking a question of them perhaps. In many cases, that user has not been around for quite a while, but the new person seems unaware of this statistical likelihood and Unless one of us points it out they are left like a tree falling in the forest. One of us will maybe spot their comment and help them out by pointing out that no response will ever come. But other times we might just be confused why an old thread has bobbed up to the surface and can’t see the recent comment buried among the old ones.
I have not practical advice to offer. It just makes me feel a bit wistful and sad for the person with that vulnerability to not factoring in the passage of time. Does anyone get that poignant feeling about it all? It makes me sad. Not just for the ‘ignored’ person but for the many lost ‘ghosts’ who we may one day be sooner than we intended. I miss everyone in advance, all the time. And complacency in this place will never take hold as departures of both kinds recently, (as well as more mayfly forum existences) will not be the last. I like and appreciate everyone who’s here, even if they’re just quietly sitting ‘at the back’ - all losses are felt keenly. Best wishes to all.
It could be that they’re not used to using a forum and don’t check the date? Recently I replied to one of these threads that had been dug up by someone, then quickly deleted my reply after I noticed how long ago. In all fairness it was only a matter of weeks and the OP did actually reply to the person that posted. But I automatically felt stupid for reply to a thread that was 3 weeks old.
I think it’s just a forum ‘thing’ regarding lost ghosts. When you think about it it’s not all that different from life, people come and go. Things change in life and people move on to different things.
That said, I used to be part of a very large forum a long time ago. There is a Facebook group where some of us found each other again. And whilst we have found out about people passing away, there are the odd few that I got to know well (or I thought I did) that I have no idea where they are now. But everything has changed and although some of us found each other we no longer talk. It was more of a quick catch up. Though one in particular I still wonder about. Because we didn’t exactly get on when I first joined, in fact he positively hated me. But after a few months maybe even years we one day messaged each other. And it turned out both of us were reading each other completely wrong. We really got on well after that. Sorry, went off on one there…
No, I really like that this thread has turned into something different from what the original post was about, but still connected. And that’s a lovely story. Misreading people is always such a shame, but when the chance isn’t missed to redress it that’s a great thing, and inspiring too.