What does the forum mean to you?

This is just somewhere I occasionally post on. I don't have the sense of belonging that the rest of you do. Maybe it's because I have both an ASD and schizophrenia/schizoaffective dx.

Well, whether you like it or not, I think of you as part of this team.....perhaps the cool name, cool profile pic, or the fact that some of your posts have "spoken" loudly to this place in the past.  Nice to see you back again.

Kind regards

Number.

Thank you for the kind words. I'm in that vast,middle, space occupied by those who don't regard ASD as a 'super power' /haven't achieved great things in life, but equally so  are not at the severe,need 24x 7 care and support, level. It's hard to feel that I fit in , given the number of very high functioning people who post here. 

Thanks for this. I'm not sure how much is relevant to my situation, I'll need to look into it. I'll have another look at PIP.

I’m not so such that PIP is based on income, though I may be wrong on that, it’s worth having because it checks a lot of boxes for other things.

If you have a dog, ESA is good for various reasons, like if you rent it can help you get your dog in with you, when paired with a medical recommendation.

It can be good to have a medical report or professional acknowledgement of your autism, as it can shut down a lot of reasonable adjustment resistance, straight off the bat..

Blue badge is good, because it gives the possibility to have accessibility, in certain situations and I believe it can help you get a disabled space installed in certain instances. Plus everyone knows what a blue badge is so it clears up a lot of confusion before it starts. And it grant discount on dial-a-ride or similar services..

Confessionary travel pass is good, because it removes the some of the stress and risk of bus travel, it’s another solid ice breaker..

Thats all I can thing of in this moment, you’ve got the lanyard, so that’s good.. but all of these considerations can give you confidence and faith in society, it makes you feel better 24/7 without having support 24/7, if that makes sense..

I've been on benefits in the past, but am no longer eligible as I work part-time.

Don't really need a blue badge, although I have a hidden disabilities sunflower lanyard, mainly for use at the airport.

I'm not sure what passive resources you had in mind.

Have you tried for PIP yet..?

If hands-off support is more your speed, then perhaps that and blue badge and passive resources etc, may be the best call..

I just meant I need some support, but not constantly or with basic things. For example, my wife (self-diagnosed AuDHD) and I are currently looking for somewhere to live and if it wasn't for our parents lending us money and my parents lending time and advice, we'd be absolutely stuck.

I was just trying to pick your mind and have you expand upon your meaning.. I was hoping you would make an understanding..

I'm not sure I understand the question.

What do you need..?

I don't feel I fully fit in here either, but in my case it's due to being an Orthodox Jew. Some of us have an extra side to our lives beyond autism that makes it even harder to find people on our wavelength.

And I also don't see ASD as a super-power, nor need 24/7 support.

Good idea ^^

I went for a walk today and have been in bed since. When I stand I feel really unsteady.

My 'busy motorway' is keeping my head occupied. Really annoying.

I often feel distant from people though I am starting to feel a little less alone now in some ways. 

Masking isn't always obvious. Until today talking here I didn't realise that I actually mask pretty much all the time. I'm trying not to do this now.

I don't get any support in RL from the people in my life. I think it's just masking that allows me to function and get through life. I need to find healthier ways to cope.

I'm not aware of ever having masked. WYSIWYG with me. I don't have that ability  to process things in real time, and adjust accordingly. That , and the fact that not many people here, or on wrong planet, talk about the support  they get in order to maintain a healthy,if somewhat basic, lifestyle- often makes feel  like a distant autistic  relative,rather  than a close autistic relative.

firemonkey said:

My self confidence/esteem/ worth are gossamer thin.

Then keep dipping in here....hopefully we'll keep you topped up with your badly needed booster shots.....and maintain you at knicker elastic thicknesses?!

It isn't too bad and means I mask a bit less now because I don't have the bandwidth. Or that might just be getting older. Use the fatigue to double up on getting out of things you'd rather not do. Every cloud etc!

Don't worry about what others think of you. You're awesome how you are and if they can't see it that's their loss :-) 

That's good advice, but advice I struggle to follow due to the long term effects of what my care coordinator come depot nurse has called 'bullying related trauma'. I can have 9 people say positive things about me, only to end up feeling like I'm no good because the 10th person has been very negative towards me. My self confidence/esteem/ worth are gossamer thin.

:-/ CFS and autism are a bad combination.

I was recently diagnosed with CFS, I'm actually pretty curious now if masking is potentially behind some of that? 

I would say a resounding "yes".

Thank you for caring and for the support. I will try my best to stop masking. I think where I've done it so much it's now the 'norm' but I have heard from you and other lovely people how harmful it can be so I will try my hardest to turn this around before it causes me serious problems.

I was recently diagnosed with CFS, I'm actually pretty curious now if masking is potentially behind some of that? 

I'm so sorry about your burnout by the way. That must have been awful for you. And I'm sorry you had to go through most of your life masking. I'm glad things are much improved for you now and I hope you'll not feel the effects of burnout again.

firemonkey said:

It's hard to feel that I fit in , given the number of very high functioning people who post here.

I'm not a fan of functioning labels at all. Our ability to function depends on so many variables, such as the sensory environment and method of communication. 

I agree with Nata that it can appear very different online to out there in the real world. I have a massive mismatch between my poor verbal functioning and my level of written communication. That mismatch was highlighted and commented on during my autism assessment.

Please do continue to post. If someone stops posting because they feel they do not fit in then that becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. The forum would become a much less diverse and inclusive place if some members of the autistic community did not feel able to contribute. Many of us have gone through life never fitting in anywhere and it's so important that spaces such as this exist.

firemonkey said:

There's a phrase I often use, that being 'adaptive functioning'.  Using simpler words you could call it 'practical-daily living skills'. I don't know about anyone else here, but it's always been something I've struggled with. The vast majority of people, including,sadly, many (mental) health professionals, are totally clueless that you can be intelligent yet struggle with those daily living skills. I'm very open  about my significantly large adaptive functioning < IQ gap,but I've come across very few other autistic people who'll readily admit 'Yes, that's me too!'.

That's interesting. I've never heard of 'adaptive functioning' before. I googled it and found this relevant article.

https://www.spectrumnews.org/opinion/viewpoint/intelligence-scores-not-predict-success-autistic-adults/

I think I am one of those people who would say yes, that's me too.

Thank you Goosey......but remember that communication is a two-way street....it only works when the transmitter and receiver are tuned to the same frequency and equally adept.....so it's not so much my ability to explain things, but the fact that you operate at a similar frequency.  If you said the same things in your own words, I fully expect me to understand you just as well......but thank you nonetheless.

Thank you Goosey......but remember that communication is a two-way street....it only works when the transmitter and receiver are tuned to the same frequency and equally adept.....so it's not so much my ability to explain things, but the fact that you operate at a similar frequency.  If you said the same things in your own words, I fully expect me to understand you just as well......but thank you nonetheless.