Published on 12, July, 2020
Went to the cinema last night, I’m the easy one to spot, I’m the one who sits turned away from the person next to them, I sort of sit on one side of me, can manage my wife sitting on my other side. Having a stranger sitting next to me for three hours has left me drained. I haven’t been able to talk yet, We came home last night, my wife went to bed, I had to sit on my own with my arms wrapped around the sides of my head. I feel like my ‘ spidey senses’ are in overdrive.
Its always been the same, trains and theatre cause the same affect. The underground is worse, I struggle to understand how having people near to me is so draining. It’s like they are radioactive and pulling the energy out of me, I know I’m going to have to mask heavily this morning so not to cause an argument with my wife and make it all about me. Is this something that anyone else relates to, or is it just weird me?
Hi Roy. It made me smile that you ended your post 'is it just weird me'.?
Just like me, you discovered your autism very late in life and are still trying to figure out what's the 'weird' you + what's not.
I suspect that most of our behaviour that's always seemed different is the autism.
It's our sensitivities I suppose that creates the response you describe.
So, in answer to your question, all of the above is the same for me.
I haven't gone to the cinema for years as I can't bear it, not just the proximity of the people but the smells + noises are so distracting.
I rarely visit a theatre anyway.
The London tube is hell on earth for me and when I visit London I try to just walk where possible.
Thanks, left up to me I would prefer to go nowhere, I can manage a trip to the village pub once a week. My wife obviously wants to do things, I feel often that I have to go so not to be restrictive. I do need an exclusion zone around me, I find even the village pub, first someone will come too near, before you know it, there is a hand on your shoulder.
I think at the back of my mind is also a family ‘get together’ on Sunday, the nearer it gets, the more a start to spike. I get questions like, “ how’s your autism now,” I use an answer of, “ it’s nearly cleared up.”
I think I'm in an easier position being a woman.
My husband does lots of things on his own + isn't bothered about it, including going to concerts + cinema.
It's difficult for you because you don't want to hurt/restrict your wife.
I never go to pubs unless to eat and then I walk around and around to find the quietest seat furthest from music speakers (and people).
I go to a pub to eat occasionally with my autistic friend and we have found a table I call the 'autistic table' which is furthest away from any noise.
I've got a family get together on Sunday too so I'll think of you.
I won't be asked those questions and I feel for you as if something like that was said to me, I might snap.
Ignorance is not bliss.
Good luck with the move, Cornwall is lovely, I hope you'll all be happy there. I used to holiday there on a yearly basis, the whole family would get together every September for a holiday.
Good luck with that Roy (both the telling, and the move).
Roy said:I would suggest a restaurant for autistic people, unfortunately you wouldn’t be able to get many tables in the room and a menu would be a nightmare!
Too true