Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello! I'm new here, so a bit nervous to post. I'm 29 years old in Feb and got my official diagnosis of autism after a long wait in October of 2022.
Unfortunately I had to take some time from work due to autistic + type 1 diabetes burnout, as I work in a busy call centre and the constant customer service + office environment masking made me very unwell. I have had approximately 2 and a half weeks off now, and my sick note runs out today, so I am back in tomorrow. Although the time off to regulate myself and be authentic to my actual needs has been nice and much needed, I am now left with a constant overwhelming anxiety about having to go back to work.
I usually have a very strong work ethic, but for some reason I am absolutely dreading having to go back in to where the demand is high for masking again, to the point I can feel myself getting overwhelmed before I've even gone back in. I don't really know what to do or who to confide in as I keep getting told that it's normal to feel nervous about going back after time off. I'm scared that I'll push myself to go in and then breakdown and start uncontrollably crying again like I did before I took some sick leave. I know that there's nothing that can be done for me and all actions are my own, but perhaps I'm hoping for some advice or suggestions, or maybe even just a safe space to vent. I also acknowledge that not everyone is able to work so I'm sorry if this is a sensitive topic for anyone personally. Thank you.
Hi Smegs94, I'm a 39 Yr old male and was only diagnosed in January. I will be returning in 2 weeks after being off for five and a half months. I too feel the same way as you. My employer have finally agreed to offer the adjustments I requested after having to go down the grievance route under discrimination. It has been a nightmare to be honest. Me and my family and have agreed that I will give it one last try as I can't keep having breakdowns and burnouts, as it puts too much pressure on the whole family. The only advice I can offer you, which is what I will be trying is to just take it one day at a time. Have you thought about asking for adjustments? Like maybe having your desk in a quiter part of the office space? Or is there any facility to work from home on occassion to give you a break from any sensory overwhelme if that's what you struggle with. I too used to work at a call centre for a well known mobile network. I lasted 9 months I couldn't hack it. My wife is right when she says it's not the right career for me but as you all know most neuro diverse people hate change, so with employment you can feel like your stuck between a rock and a hard place. I do think it is true though that you get some great supportive employers in relation to supporting people with disabilities and some horrendous ones. There is also still a huge lack of insight among employers on how to support neuro diverse employees.
Try not to be too hard on yourself and just be as open and honest as possible, sometimes just by doing that can help you to feel a little more at ease. Best of luck and it would be great if you coulcome back and let us know how you are getting on. Take care