Return to work anxiety

Smegs94 said:

I usually have a very strong work ethic, but for some reason I am absolutely dreading having to go back

I feel your pain - I had a similar earlier career where I was in 1st and 2nd line IT support where I would spend a lot of time on the phone for a few weeks then out visiting customers to resolve their issues for a few weeks (in the banking sector which has famously short tempered users).

Only once I had a bad burnout and I took a week off (being a contractor I wasn't paid if I didn't work) but I decided there and then to quit and find a lower stress job closer to home.

Luckily my experience allowed me to get a role in a security team in a bank in my home town (rather than the American bank in London) and I had 3 months of processing security requests in a lovely, close knit team. That gave me a 35 hour working week, a 10 minute commute and a chance to catch up with old friends so by the end I felt human again.

Then I got a call from my old boss in the American bank, asking me to come back for a 60% pay increase so I ended up going back into the lions den, but took a lot more care to manage stressful situations and not over-commit to work stuff. It worked out well and I even ended up being sent out to work in Latin America for a year where I ended up meeting the love of my life.

The takeaway I would suggest from my experiences is to:

1. Take as much control of the situation as you can. Speak to your doctor about what documentation they can give to confirm your status as an Autustic person and a note to explain that you may need some consideration to remain healthy (Autism is classified as a disability I believe).

2. Speak to the Human Resources dept (or the People dept, depending on how woke the company is) and tell them your status and suggest what reasonable accomodations would help you work effectively. I don't know if they are obliged to make these changes but it is the best way if you want to carry on working there.

3. Find support in coping with the return stress. We are here to help as much as we can but a friend or family member is more likely to be there when you need them.

4. Now the important bit. Look for a way to change your job. I think a pressurised role like the one you are in with lots of human contact is probably very unhealthy for you, so look at other roles you can do that get you away from the pressure of answering the phone constantly, speaking to often unhappy people and having little time to resolve problems that are often outside your control.

Look at other areas that interest you. Maybe start studying IT administration (eg office 365 account admin, user account admin etc) which will give you a lot less face to face (or ear to ear...) contact with the users.

Longer term think of if IT is actually your thing and actively learn the skills to move into a team that meets your needs more - maybe infrastructure admin, IT security, project management etc. This is a longer process but it pays better, has less of the stressers that your current role brings and has more scope to specialise.

I've helped a lot of colleagues using mentoring or coaching over the years to get into roles that they feel more suited to and it is really worth the effort.

I've even applied this to myself and now have left IT to work in restoring old properies to their former glory, both in the UK and in Brazil (a long story), but I'm now loving the new career and making a very healthy living off it too.

Sorry for the overly long ramble - the upshot of it is to take control back even if it looks like you have little. You will be surprised at what you can achieve.

Good luck with the return.

Smegs94 said:

I usually have a very strong work ethic, but for some reason I am absolutely dreading having to go back

I feel your pain - I had a similar earlier career where I was in 1st and 2nd line IT support where I would spend a lot of time on the phone for a few weeks then out visiting customers to resolve their issues for a few weeks (in the banking sector which has famously short tempered users).

Only once I had a bad burnout and I took a week off (being a contractor I wasn't paid if I didn't work) but I decided there and then to quit and find a lower stress job closer to home.

Luckily my experience allowed me to get a role in a security team in a bank in my home town (rather than the American bank in London) and I had 3 months of processing security requests in a lovely, close knit team. That gave me a 35 hour working week, a 10 minute commute and a chance to catch up with old friends so by the end I felt human again.

Then I got a call from my old boss in the American bank, asking me to come back for a 60% pay increase so I ended up going back into the lions den, but took a lot more care to manage stressful situations and not over-commit to work stuff. It worked out well and I even ended up being sent out to work in Latin America for a year where I ended up meeting the love of my life.

The takeaway I would suggest from my experiences is to:

1. Take as much control of the situation as you can. Speak to your doctor about what documentation they can give to confirm your status as an Autustic person and a note to explain that you may need some consideration to remain healthy (Autism is classified as a disability I believe).

2. Speak to the Human Resources dept (or the People dept, depending on how woke the company is) and tell them your status and suggest what reasonable accomodations would help you work effectively. I don't know if they are obliged to make these changes but it is the best way if you want to carry on working there.

3. Find support in coping with the return stress. We are here to help as much as we can but a friend or family member is more likely to be there when you need them.

4. Now the important bit. Look for a way to change your job. I think a pressurised role like the one you are in with lots of human contact is probably very unhealthy for you, so look at other roles you can do that get you away from the pressure of answering the phone constantly, speaking to often unhappy people and having little time to resolve problems that are often outside your control.

Look at other areas that interest you. Maybe start studying IT administration (eg office 365 account admin, user account admin etc) which will give you a lot less face to face (or ear to ear...) contact with the users.

Longer term think of if IT is actually your thing and actively learn the skills to move into a team that meets your needs more - maybe infrastructure admin, IT security, project management etc. This is a longer process but it pays better, has less of the stressers that your current role brings and has more scope to specialise.

I've helped a lot of colleagues using mentoring or coaching over the years to get into roles that they feel more suited to and it is really worth the effort.

I've even applied this to myself and now have left IT to work in restoring old properies to their former glory, both in the UK and in Brazil (a long story), but I'm now loving the new career and making a very healthy living off it too.

Sorry for the overly long ramble - the upshot of it is to take control back even if it looks like you have little. You will be surprised at what you can achieve.

Good luck with the return.