No purpose

Rest is good buddy. If you need to sleep to get back to even ground then go ahead. You did a lot yesterday it's bound to take a few days to recover. 

I felt the effect, today. After getting up at 6:30 am, I ran errands then went back to bed at 10:20 am until now. 

Ooh who are your favourite Kpop groups? I love Blackpink, Stray Kids, Everglow, Le Sserafim, Aespa, Ive, Itzy, Nmixx, and Kep1er Those are my main faves but I listen to a lot of other groups and soloists too!

I still haven't read It but it's only my list. I saw the 2017 movie though and it was great!

Same tbh. I like all genres and listen to whatever I'm feeling at the time. Lately I've been listening to a lot of Kpop and rock.

Mine are Misery and It. I can never choose which one I like best. I've not seen the movie adaption yet but I'll give them a try some point. 

I will do that. A song like Eye of the Tiger or Queen's Don't stop me now would probably be good ones to walk with. Music is the best. 

I honestly love all types of music. Right now I'm really into Kpop and Eurovision but I grew up listening to a lot of rock and metal. I always find something I like in every genre. How about you?

Oh what is your favourite Stephen King book? I think mine is Misery. I also really like The Mist, and I like a lot of the movies based on his novels too!

that's alright  i hope you manage to get out on some walks and enjoy them - might even be an idea to make a walking playlist idk if it's strange but I quite like songs you walk on the beat too it's quite satisfying :) hope you feel better soon and we're all here for you - you're never alone xx

Sorry it's taken me about 50 years to reply! They call me the Tortoise for a reason........ 

You are all so understanding. It's overwhelming. In a good way though. Thanks for the support. 

Desmond79 Thanks for replying my friend. 

Desmond79 said:

Hang in there, Dude. We weren't supposed to do well in standard tests because we don't have standard minds. There is a world, however, for us.

This was brilliantly put. Well said!

Oh man, it sounds like that took it out of you. Are you ok today? I know oh so well the effects of forcing yourself to do certain things. It's good your friend left early, what a great friend. Take care of yourself. 

Ann :) Thank you for replying. 

I'm sorry you're struggling, that must be hard for you to want to keep fit with exercise but being unable to. I don't know if it's too much but have you thought about doing something like Wii Sports and Go Vacation on the Nintendo? It's a lighter way of doing exercise and I believe it's less stressing on the body. I'm sorry if that's unhelpful. Take care of yourself and it's good to remind yourself that you will get there and it isn't your fault,

the day will come when you are better again and when it does you'll see it was worth the wait. That's something positive you can look forward to.

There's a lot of videos on YouTube regarding hobbies you could have a look at as well. Explore some and see if you find any new ones you might enjoy.

Thanks for responding. I wish you well for the future and a speedy recovery. 

ConstantRepeat Thanks for replying. I'm sorry you struggle in the same way but I've hope that things can change for us. Life is an ever changing event so maybe that change for us both is right around the corner.

ConstantRepeat said:

Also, I really love music and supernatural stuff and horror books / TV / movies too so if you ever just wanted to chat about that stuff to take your mind off things then feel free to send me a message

Nice what sort of music do you like to listen to? I love supernatural and horror. I've got nearly every Stephen King book and a lot of supernatural DVDs.

Glad you’re feeling better, and it’s always ok to not be ok (to use a modern cliche but a good one I think) which is why this place helps so much with perspective 

Luna Thank you Luna.  I'm trying and I'll get there. I feel better already having joined here.

Aspen Thank you. 

I just worked out how to tag people.

It's good to know I'm not on my own and I don't mean that like I'm glad others find it hard. It's just good to know I'm not on my own,

that makes a difference to me. Good suggestion, thank you. I've been meaning to try and go for more walks. It's been cooler and that's put me off but it's about time I got out a bit more. I'll be anxious but with my headphones and music I should be ok.

Thank you for the encouragement. 

I'm glad you got to the other side. Sometimes it feels like I'm going to burn and crash but each year is a step closer to reaching a good point to stand at.

Thank you!

Thank you everyone for taking the time to respond and offer your advice and give me the hopes that I can find my purpose and get through these inconvenient emotions. I over analyse myself and life at times and sometimes it can all get on top of me, as I think it has again.

I'm feeling better today though, thanks to your kind responses. I am a little hard on myself and will do better in future not to be. Thank you everyone for being there for me.

I love that you recognised it from Doctor Who. I've The 7th Doctor's umbrella at home. 

Thank you. You said plenty and it was all helpful.

Hang in there, Dude. We weren't supposed to do well in standard tests because we don't have standard minds. There is a world, however, for us.

I do head out, but it's always a forced exercise. This evening, my friend and I went to see a local Drama Society do the Wizard of Oz. However, I felt queasy halfway through. Plus, my friend had a contingency plan to leave early; anyway. 

Hi, Welcome! It sounds you have plenty of things of your own- you have hobbies you are passionate about, like the music, and lots of projects ongoing!! 

I understand about this need for a purpose. I have that too quite strongly and I feel guilty when I do things that do not serve a purpose/ a goal and that makes it very hard to do activities just for the sake of relaxing (though I guess in a way that would be a purpose too.). I used to have 2 main purposes/goals in my life: 1) science/ my academic career 2) hiking and being fit for that which I really love as I would plan a big hiking trip for each summer and then plan everything out meticulously and I would have fun training for it etc. I lost all that when I got injured 3 years ago and never recovered so far. Now I really struggle as I haven't found a non-exercise hobby that really makes me happy... I loved all outdoor activities like running, hiking, cycling and I used to do horse-riding too. Now I am only left with the academic goal which is something I do really like but I don't really relax anymore ever as I struggle to allow myself to do something that doesn't serve a 'purpose' - I find it really difficult as I have no hobby that I really enjoy doing and that gives me satisfaction... and when I then try to pass the time by doing something simply for the sake of relaxing I just get frustrated as I would rather be doing something productive.... but like this I am basically getting super burnt out all the time as I don't take a break until my body basically makes me almost collapse from exhaustion and I am physically and mentally just not capable of working anymore. Sorry if I am rambling on so much about my own issues. 

I think my main point/thought here is that doing things that 'don't seem to have a purpose' is actually a good thing. And it is amazing that you have hobbies and activities that you love doing and that make you happy. And I think this whole purpose thing needs reframing in our heads- If something gives us joy or allows us to relax that is also a 'purpose' and 'useful'. In our society I think there is this drive that whatever we do it has to be productive/useful etc. in a conventional sense, but I don't know if that leads to happiness. It seems quite a sad existence really... to just constantly be chasing a purpose. I think there is a beauty in living more in the moment. 

And I am sure if you really want a more concrete aim/project or purpose to work towards, you will be able to come up with something, but only if you want to. 

I also think comparing yourself to others is probably not very helpful (you mention being content with no friends but that 'it burns' because your brothers do)- We are all different and the most important is that you are happy. It doesn't matter if other people have different needs to feel content. I do a lot of comparing too... and it makes me unhappy usually... not sure how to stop though. 

You sound like an amazing person to me! I hope you can be more self-confident eventually.

I remember getting to forty and thinking ‘ok I am now the age Ive always felt’ The problem is I’m a good distance  past that now!