Published on 12, July, 2020
I was working in English, teaching writing to students and I had been doing this for a long time but had to cut down to part time because of autistic burnout and physical stress. I went to work before Xmas but left after an hour I couldn't cope and I've not been back since. I can't do work anymore it's like I get pulled under fierce waves in the dark and I can't breathe or see. My husband is supportive and has said to stay at home and go back when I'm ready but I don't want to quit in case I'm never ready to return to work. But I feel selfish for being like this because my husband has to deal with me.
I've had a couple of jobs working in shops and at a hospital but the experience haven't been good. I was hoping my teaching would be a good one and last but it looks like I've failed again. I have no idea how people keep their jobs without burning out. I cannot get the hang of it.
I have never worked properly but I hope to figure it out one day. I am so good at the studying format but the second I have to turn towards the world of work I freak out. I did a gardening course and really enjoyed it but the second I had to turn those skills towards earning money it because unbearably stressful. I don't know if its PDA or what.
I am thinking of volunteering with animals to find a sense of purpose again and maybe I could try becoming a dog walker as it seems it would only be minimal contact with their owners just discussing the pets needs. If you are okay with animals and find their company easier perhaps that can be a way into finding less stressful work one day.