Published on 12, July, 2020
I was working in English, teaching writing to students and I had been doing this for a long time but had to cut down to part time because of autistic burnout and physical stress. I went to work before Xmas but left after an hour I couldn't cope and I've not been back since. I can't do work anymore it's like I get pulled under fierce waves in the dark and I can't breathe or see. My husband is supportive and has said to stay at home and go back when I'm ready but I don't want to quit in case I'm never ready to return to work. But I feel selfish for being like this because my husband has to deal with me.
I've had a couple of jobs working in shops and at a hospital but the experience haven't been good. I was hoping my teaching would be a good one and last but it looks like I've failed again. I have no idea how people keep their jobs without burning out. I cannot get the hang of it.
You haven't failed again.
Teaching is hard work. People who are not autistic also burn out in this job. Have you spoken to your manager about your struggles? They might be able to put adjustments in place. I teach adults and have reduced my teaching hours over the past couple of years. I don't know how people can do it full time. There are different environments within teaching and yours might not be suitable. Teaching is stressful but then you have the added layer of being autistic....it's not usually in the classroom I feel stressed. It's usually around colleagues, communication and expectations. I feel guilty on my partner that i am not working full time. I'm considering a change. I'd love to follow one of my interests but it'd mean retraining and I feel it's indulgent.