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Confrontation

Billy87
over 1 year ago

Does anyone else really fear confrontational situations? Like when you know you have to confront someone and tell them you are not happy about something and you know it will lead to an arguement. Especially at work but anywhere really

I am always so scared of confrontation. Also when I am in that situation I get tounge tied and lost for words, like everything I want to say goes out of my head and I end up making a mess of what Im saying

Does anyone else relate to this or have any tips of what to do and how to handle these situations? I have to have a confrontation with my consultant at my agency on Monday as I have found out they have been underpaying me for my job and lying to me about how much I should be paid. Its even harder cos he always acts so nice even though I know hes screwing me over. If people act nice, even if they aren't it makes me find confrontation even harder 

Parents
  • over 1 year ago

    Yes I totally relate to all of this and absolutely hate confrontation.

    I become incredibly anxious when something is not as I expect and I think that I might need to confront someone about it. In the moment I am likely to just not say anything or not even realise there is a problem until it is too late to say something.

    Where I do find myself in a confrontational situation I cannot get my carefully planned words out properly. Also my brain cannot process the other persons response quickly enough to be able to respond. I can go situationally mute. Other times I find myself agreeing with the other person just to escape the nightmare of the confrontation, even though I know I am in the right. It then leaves me feeling useless and bad about myself afterwards.

    This is one reason why I much prefer to communicate in writing, rather than verbally. In any disagreement situation I can set out the facts as I see them, logically and calmly. I then have time to consider the response. Of course it is not always possible to communicate that way in every situation. I can find myself pursuing relatively minor complaints to the point of obsession, where a company has live chat or email for customer services. Yet more serious matters I have to give up and ignore completely, where the only ways to complain are verbally in person or by telephone.

Reply
  • over 1 year ago

    Yes I totally relate to all of this and absolutely hate confrontation.

    I become incredibly anxious when something is not as I expect and I think that I might need to confront someone about it. In the moment I am likely to just not say anything or not even realise there is a problem until it is too late to say something.

    Where I do find myself in a confrontational situation I cannot get my carefully planned words out properly. Also my brain cannot process the other persons response quickly enough to be able to respond. I can go situationally mute. Other times I find myself agreeing with the other person just to escape the nightmare of the confrontation, even though I know I am in the right. It then leaves me feeling useless and bad about myself afterwards.

    This is one reason why I much prefer to communicate in writing, rather than verbally. In any disagreement situation I can set out the facts as I see them, logically and calmly. I then have time to consider the response. Of course it is not always possible to communicate that way in every situation. I can find myself pursuing relatively minor complaints to the point of obsession, where a company has live chat or email for customer services. Yet more serious matters I have to give up and ignore completely, where the only ways to complain are verbally in person or by telephone.

Children