Told I'm gullible, infantilised and gaslit.

I do like this medium when it doesn't descend into point scoring or childishness, and us Autists seem way more controlled than some places I go. We get a bit more point and counter point here than a lot of places...

Thanks to you guys I am truly getting past the point of telling myself that "Autism isn't all bad, to a point of actually being glad I am made this way.

FInally I've reached the point where I am glad I was not "screened for and aborted"...

Clearly, there is much concern for the homeless, here...

I Sperg said:

You appear to write like someone who has not personally overcome the financial challenges that a homeless person faces, even if they take your advice and go cold turkey. It's my belief that in such circumstances, begging then squirrelling the money away to save up for a flat, (or even an interview suit!) is a far, far more daunting and difficult prospect in a way those of us with some base can understand. 

Thankfully I've never been homeless, I've been dirt poor and reliant on family for housing though. I know what it is to collect coupons / vouchers for food etc. The point stands though. I choose compassion over sympathy and giving people what they need over what they want. Giving people money for drugs / booze because they feel awful won't fix the situation. Giving them food will fill their belly for one night. So I chose the option that meaningfully improves their situation. You might say if I'd been where they'd been I might feel more sympathy for them and maybe I would. ... but they don't need my sympathy they need something thats going to make their situation tangibly better.

I wish I could give you more than one upvote.

You just incidentally nailed the main motivation behind many people who get the label conspiracy theorist or religious nut.

It's hard for a man to to come to see just how things are the way they are, and then not expect him to start looking for the hidden evil behind it... 

There might be "nothing wrong" with abortion, but for most of the more human women I know who have had one, it appears to have been an experience they'd rather not have had, on many levels. It definitely changes them..

When my partner found out just after we had split up finally and for good, that she was pregnant I was morally glad that she did not choose an abortion, but terrified for the future, given my own upbringing and the broken relationship I was in.

We made as good a go of it as anyone would, based pretty much on their needs, for nearly a decade after that, until she'd finally had enough of either me or the undiagnosed Autism and lost interest in me as a person completely, and a few years after that I'd had enough of living with someone who clearly did not love or care for me or the relationship. We split as amicably as possible, she kept the house, I got some money, we both got onto different relationships quite quickly, and I got weekends and other bits of time with my kid but crucially, her new partner neither replaced me, nor was a trouble to my kid.

I know our child is quite glad that mum chose not to "get the medical attention that she needed".

I know more than one woman who is still troubled by a part of her soul? biology? ghosts? morality? I do not know what, but I do know based on my own observation, and independent of any opinions I or anyone else may hold about the pros and cons of an abortion, it is a decision that should not be made without grave consideration and informed knowledge of all the consequences and costs.

It's not as simple or cut and dried as many people make it out to be. 

We all want right/wrong binary decisions, and it makes us pick sides in arguments, even when we are woefully misinformed or poorly informed (allegations that either side will make about the other side). 

It's taken me personally more than 5 decades to learn the meaning of "nuanced" and realise and submit to the reality that in real life, just as in driving, things go a lot easier if we all agree what the rules are and follow them, and those rules had better be well thought out, and fairly applied, then only ever changed when we all agree, and not on the whim of some specialist (often not very visible) group of people, backed by a deep pr campaign and trucks of money... 

Idealism, I still got some!

Boys, you need to spent more time online

That happens to me too! I put in one smiley and suddenly half my paragraph has random letters replaced with wee faces. 

Hey, as long as you have enough money saved in case your income ever stops so that you have something to fall back on. Then anything extra you have and give to the homeless is a lovely thing to do. You must be careful that they do not start following you around for money though. 

You could be helping a homeless person get on their feet just by the kindness you show them. 

I agree with you awkwardsomeone but it's one of those topics that does divide opinion. 

Neurotypical societal norms are harrowingly gutted of empathy and nothing to aspire to. People have to separate themselves psychologically from the "other" such as the homeless or disabled to stay in denial about how broken and illogical society is with how it fails people. They have to believe homeless or disabled people are just lazy or broken to insulate themselves from the terrifying fact that any one of us can become homeless or disabled at any point and there isn't a real safety net once that happens.

Thank you for caring about your fellow humans.

There's nothing wrong with abortion. I hope she got the medical attention she needed.

Hello, mate. 

The attitude I mentioned just seems to me to be the snobbish version of the soulless people who dislike benefits money being raised: "Don't waste money on them - they'll only spend it on widescreen televisions/cigarettes/booze/drugs/phone or tv subscriptions/a fleet of Ferraris" etc etc. There's an anti-life, grudginess to attitudes like that, I feel.

EDIT: I've somehow managed to mess up the emoticon function. Doh.

It’s a complicated one. I’d personally never take that attitude, and can see why drugs are exactly what one might end up needing to make homelessness bearable. But I’m also aware of the dangers of that. So if someone’s a bit preachy but means well I can sort of see that I oughtnt to judge too sceptically. Though there will undoubtedly be the sanctimonious ones too. As ever, it’s what’s in your heart.. 

I do realise that I can be naive and unworldly but...does anybody else here dislike the kind of charity-giver who pretty much states: "I will give you this £10-note provided you swear to only spend it on what I, in my superior wisdom and moderation, consider best for you"? It's charity as a conceited kind of insult, charity which is fundamentally grudging rather than generous in spirit and deed. Little different to the old-time missionaries who promised a bowl of soup if you agreed to study the religious documents of their own, biased choosing...

I think as an Autist I'm LESS gullible than the N.T's and less likely to make that particular mistake and certainly not for long. 

I have to stop and wonder, did your cousin, actually stop and take an interest in the person they were giving money to and learn about why they were standing there asking for money, or did they just chuck 'em the cash as what we "based" people call a "virtue signaller" does? I'm genuinely curious, because I'm pretty sure that much talked about thing has not yet happened to me, and certainly not repeatedly.

MY neighbour is a good old stick, he actively supports the homeless, on a very routine and it appears organised basis as a personal effort and to fill his time. 

I do feel that to some extent, like my parents were basically stopping me from meeting new people in case thye literally just happened to be predatory homosexual r*pists , and the basis for this was that because i was autistic i was more vulnerable etc.

As for homeless people. TBH, I would give maybe some spare change if i had any BUT I know my cousin used to give to a "homeless" person for months only to find out they were not homeless or destitute in the slightest. 

She's NT not ND so it doesn't really make a difference if you're autistic or not, these things can happen to anyone. 

I do feel that to some extent, like my parents were basically stopping me from meeting new people in case thye literally just happened to be predatory homosexual r*pists , and the basis for this was that because i was autistic i was more vulnerable etc.

As for homeless people. TBH, I would give maybe some spare change if i had any BUT I know my cousin used to give to a "homeless" person for months only to find out they were not homeless or destitute in the slightest. 

It seems to indicate you are a kind person.

Nothing to be ashamed of. Those who argue against helping others are likely to have been gaslit by the media into their mode of thinking regarding homelessness.

I Sperg said:

I was next to the magazine resource, trying to sleep with my head on may camera bag, and waking up every time someone went to get a magazine. Most paranoid night of my life. Wouldn't want to do too much of it.

Don't think I could do it and save for a flat either.

To be fair over time it would probably make me really miserable and afraid all the time, and if a "ten bag" or a "few tinnies" would definitely and without question turn those feelings off for a few hours, they might serve my immediate needs much better than some sound financial/lifestyle advice...

 There is a thing called "maslows heirarchy of needs" that explains this better, I think.

I empathise whith this entirely. Thankfully I only had a few weeks of it and a park bench is warm enough in a heatwave summer but I know the fear like you dscribed, being so out in the open making you vulnerable like that, it's not something I'd wish on anyone, especially when you're not the biggest person out there. But the more terrifying thing is I'd already hit a kind of mental rock bottom not just a situational rock bottom. Not only was I ashamed to have been thrown out, assumed I would just get by "somehow" which I wasn't but my self esteem had gone into minus figures. So even if I entertained the idea of asking a friend if I could couch surf once they got back from holiday (which I felt too ashamed to ask and answer the innevitable questions) I didn't think they would say yes to it (because I felt unworthy of that kindness) which was another tally added to my reasons to drink the cheapest nastiest stuff I could get my hands on after package sandwiches. It was only by some swing of fate I ran into said friend a few days after they got back and they must have put 2 and 2 together from my appearance because thankfully being a good friend I got taken in no questions asked.
I would be lying if I said I stopped drinking immediately though, because by that point the behaviour was being maintained by the resulting manic depression I had at the time. That took quite a bit longer to recover from. But at least I was in a more stable to place to rebuild my foundations from after that.
I do think people have this idea that if you need to self medicate (even if it is misguided) somehow you are less worthy of assistance, but I know better myself. I don't think physical health is worth anything if you haven't got good mental health to go with it. We know in the long run alcohol doesn't fix things and will make it worse but I know what it is like to need that immediate emotional salve, so it's not really up to me to say what someone does and doesn't need to get through the day. It's not like they're asking for a playstation.

I've noticed your posts in the past as expressing contrary views to my own, which in my book is not often a good thing.

Spending time trying to actively come up with a sensible way of helping the homeless, however, that puts you firmly in the Venn diagram of "people who think in a way of which I wholeheartedly approve").

You appear to write like someone who has not personally overcome the financial challenges that a homeless person faces, even if they take your advice and go cold turkey. It's my belief that in such circumstances, begging then squirrelling the money away to save up for a flat, (or even an interview suit!) is a far, far more daunting and difficult prospect in a way those of us with some base can understand. 

According to THIS webpage I am "destitute". Yet I am not "homeless". 

https://www.trustforlondon.org.uk/data/poverty-thresholds/

If those figure are true, that's an AWFUL lot of begging they have to do in order to get by.

And they have to save it rather than buying a cream for that thing on their foot, a McDonalds, or a new pair of shoes from the second hand shop etc.

Temptation every day, from a myriad of other things than drugs.

My best ever photograph was taken during one of my few nights of genuine homelessness, (when she threw me out over a trip to Norwich I needed to make to secure a few thousand quid from the N.U. by cashing in the policy before my house got reposessed, I grabbed my wallet and my camera... It was pre-digital so I can't share it here, but it's the homeless guy who was getting moved on by a well equipped policeman from the spot in the car park where he and his single can of stella had paused to play some music very well, on his tin whistle. It was that good, I'd followed it because I had nothing to do until norwich city centre quietened down enough for me to return to the traffic island where I intended to set up my plastic bag "basha" and get some kip, until the office opened in the morning. Since I was sitting next to him, when the coppers turned up ad I have the power of invisibiltiy when I want it, I got a series of several photographs of a superbly functional homeless person being quite frankly interfered with simply for playing a tune at nine o'clock at nigh in an empty car park...

He enquired after my plans, then insisted that I go check myself in at the church, and actually led me there, and made me go in before going on his way. I had to sign in and they gave me a nice pew to sleep on. I was next to the magazine resource, trying to sleep with my head on may camera bag, and waking up every time someone went to get a magazine. Most paranoid night of my life. Wouldn't want to do too much of it.

Don't think I could do it and save for a flat either.

To be fair over time it would probably make me really miserable and afraid all the time, and if a "ten bag" or a "few tinnies" would definitely and without question turn those feelings off for a few hours, they might serve my immediate needs much better than some sound financial/lifestyle advice...

 There is a thing called "maslows heirarchy of needs" that explains this better, I think.