Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello all. I'm Lauren and I'm new here. I strongly suspect that I'm autistic but no-one apart from my sister understands unfortunately.
I'm posting here today as I'd just like some advice!
I have acquired a new friendship group in the form of mothers from my children's school. At the beginning I was happy to meet up for cups of coffee or going on an occasional night out, but they're doing this really regularly now, sometimes 3-4 times a week, as well as seeing each other at the morning and afternoon school run. I'm not comfortable with doing this as I really love to be alone everyday. They're even talking about having group family holidays which makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable.
They don't understand why I'm not interested in doing these things with them? They keep pressing me, insisting they must have done something wrong to me or I'm angry with them for something because I keep making excuses not to see them.
They say that I'm avoiding them, and in fairness I am avoiding them. It seems that the more they press me on the issue, the more i want to avoid them. I just really dont want to see people everyday. And anyone I ask for advice just doesnt understand! Does anyone here understand please? I do have 4 boys under 8 so I'm burnt out most of the time anyway...
Thank you!
Hi everyone - just a quick update.
I continued to avoid them instead of talking to them about the issue and now they're sending me mean messages on facebook messenger and making tiktok videos about it. Bearing in mind they're in their late 20s and early 30s. It's staggering. Obviously I have a confrontation/conflict issue but I certainly wasnt nasty toward them.
The fact that they are sending you mean messages is bad enough. As you say these people are in their late 20s and early 30s, the TikTok videos strike me as... well... rather childish behaviour. If I was in your shoes, I would be inclined to keep my distance from them and block them on Messenger.
I wasn't around when this thread was first posted but I'm just catching up now and omg it's horrendous that they're acting like this towards you!
All my friendship groups have ended in a similar way, where everything is fine in the beginning and then they start pressuring me to go out a lot and do things I'm not comfortable with so I get super overwhelmed and end up avoiding them until they stop contacting me. However I've never experienced what you're describing now, with the mean messages and Tiktoks. I'm so sorry that they're treating you like that. I know it's hard for neurotypicals to understand why we suddenly fall out of contact but that doesn't give them the right to do what they're doing now. They definitely sound like a bunch of bullies and I'd block them all if I was in this situation.
Best wishes to you
Oh goodness. I am sorry. Tread carefully - safe and successful transition takes time and energy. This "set" of people will become associated with you "old" life soon enough - but whilst they are unavoidably present, my advice to you must remain......tread carefully. Best wishes.
That's bullying and I'm surprised with young families they have time to do things like that. Can you block them? They obviously don't have very interesting lives. I'm sorry this is happening to you.