Published on 12, July, 2020
So I noticed a few days ago a post about a UK version of 'love on the spectrim.' I don't know about you but it got me thinking about very out of the box dating strategies. I think it's universally acknowledged that autistic people, even quite high functioning autistic people, generally struggle to find romantic / sexual partners. Going on TV is one very extreme strategy for finding a partner but have you ever thought of others? If you're like me you approach these sorts of frustrations in life by turning them over in your mind coming up with plan after plan each more far fetched than the last. Personally I'd love to know I'm not the only one. Let me share a few of my mad cap ideas with you.
This one is more or less ripped straight off the big bang theory. The notion being that if your interlect is rather more impresive that your body and you're intrested in finding a mate who shares your intrests why not make it a competion. The general notion being that you put up an advert to an alternate reality type game where dating you is the prize. If this seams fanciful remember a huge number of people competed in Cicada 3301 mostly out of curiosity and the fun of solving the puzzles. Something that could filter out those who are intolerant to my general obsession with science, weird stuff and my puerile ribald sense of humour might be quite a good dating strategy.
People always seem to value things they pay for more and who doesn't love doing stuff for charity. So called charity slave auctions used to be quite popular even if the terminology is no longer PC I could imagine on a docket all the educational accolades might sound impressive. Putting my time up for auction might work. I imagine if I were the the bidder the young lady might just grin and bare an awkward date but if I was the one bid on I suspect the bidder would want to make an effort to make something of the money she spent on me.
These days becoming a VTuber is a bit like becoming a rockstar. They definitely have their groupies. And these groupies are usually anime obsessed, horny 'degens.' So just like me.
That's just a sample. We also have cosplay blind speed dating, setting up my own dating site. etc. What mental gymnastics has your mind gone through to address your dating woes?
I think it's fantastic that you're approaching this in a different way.
For me, it was the Tart Approach. I never really went on traditional dates at all. I was on the goth scene and my tactic was to wiggle my bum on the dance floor until someone noticed and took me home. I kissed a lot of frogs that way. Ultimately, the person I ended up with was someone I'd known for a long time, and when we were both single at the same time we got together and it worked.
I think autistic dates should be different from NT dates. Restaurants definitely no thank you. They should focus on our special interests because that's when we really come alive and are at our most passionate.
Or sensory rooms. I'd love one that's open to the public so we could just go and relax there. That would be wonderfully romantic for me, just sitting under pretty lights in the quiet together.
Believe me if I thought the tart approach would have worked for me I would have tried it.
tbh I don’t mind restaurants so much so long as I know them, know what’s on the menu that I feel comfortable ordering.
But I do like the idea of doing activities as dates. Laser tag is a lot of fun.