How do you cope with exhaustion?

Check with a GP your levels are ok such as b12, iron etc. I don't know your age or if you are female but I think menopause can contribute to exhaustion. Have you had any viruses such as covid? That could make you fatigued as well. These things which can make anyone exhausted, I think if you are already prone to it, can really exacerbate it.

I've realised since my diagnosis last year that fatigue is a fact of life. Try energy accounting or keep a diary of activity. Rest before your battery gets empty. Don't boom or bust. Be kind to yourself. Resting isn't wasting time, it's giving your body chance to recover. Its hard when often we can't read our own bodies or needs because of alexithymia or poor interoception.  I've learned the hard way as covid tipped me over the edge but i think i was burning out al ready way before that. But it has made me stop and assess things. It is hard though to find a balance but you need to find a level which is sustainable. If that means reducing what you used to do, for now, that's what you need. Prioritise stuff. Then once you start to feel better you can slowly build it up from there. Once you accept fatigue is part of your life and you cant do everything you used to be able to, you can learn to adjust. I find yoga and meditation helps too.

Hi ! Thanks! This is very useful advice! I think like you say, I often don't even notice that I am getting burnt out or how exhausted I am until I just completely collapse. I will try some of your suggestions. Did you have long Covid? I did too and the fatigue then was horrible. It has now been 1.5 years and there have been lots of things going on that could contribute to fatigue so it is hard to say if I still have residual effects from having had covid... 

Yes I have. As I am starting to turn a corner and feeling more recovered, the fatigue isn't as acute but is still there. I now recognise this type of low level exhaustion was there day in day out, especially after work, long before the pandemic.  It's a shame it has taken this for me realise but you just think it's normal, it's like this for everyone or its not really that bad. Having a physical illness makes the reason for exhaustion more tangible so a bit easier to deal with and for others to accept. I don't think "I'm fatigued because I am a masking autistic" would cut well with family, work or the GP.  Even saying it's from covid is difficult for others to see because they may have just had a sniffle and think the pandemic is now over.

Are you feeling more recovered now?

Yes I have. As I am starting to turn a corner and feeling more recovered, the fatigue isn't as acute but is still there. I now recognise this type of low level exhaustion was there day in day out, especially after work, long before the pandemic.  It's a shame it has taken this for me realise but you just think it's normal, it's like this for everyone or its not really that bad. Having a physical illness makes the reason for exhaustion more tangible so a bit easier to deal with and for others to accept. I don't think "I'm fatigued because I am a masking autistic" would cut well with family, work or the GP.  Even saying it's from covid is difficult for others to see because they may have just had a sniffle and think the pandemic is now over.

Are you feeling more recovered now?

Yes it sounds like you are doing a lot by looking for support. It's a fine balance. I had CBT and I've realised now that "tolerating anxiety" while it can be helpful, can also keep one in situations which are not suitable. The anxiety doesnt get any less. I used to disagree with Luke Beardon's idea that changing environmental factors is a good way to manage anxiety for autistics (this to me seemed a cop out because anxiety is part of life) but now I can see this is actually really important. Less anxiety = less fatigue or better managed fatigue.

Yes, I know what you mean- I am also reaching out for help (eg. I am on a waiting list for CBT, I am going to see someone who has experience in mentoring/therapy for autistic people and will see if I can afford occasional sessions, I am reaching out to GP, looking at any support in my area etc., talking to people here). But in a way organising support is a way of helping yourself too :) but I think for me it's about how I think about the support. Because like you say, even with support we need to make the changes ourselves and be proactive. In the past I think I put too much reliance on support, instead of focusing more on doing what I can to help myself. 

I'm sorry you feel that way. When we get a diagnosis it gives us answers but then often the next steps are not available. Or if they are there are huge waiting lists or a one size fits all approach. It takes time to integrate a diagnosis into your life. I think this forum is good. I think something which helps is talking to other autistic people to help us get a sense of things. I think a lot of the integration is about making sense of things and understanding ourselves.

Also im not saying it's up to us to do everything by ourselces as there are places and people who can help (altho it can be hard to come by) and I find asking for help difficult. I'm talking more about, it's OUR choice to do something or not. This is something at my age,  I have only recently learned. My wise friend says "you always have a choice".

Thanks. Yes you are right- it's easy to fall into this mindset of hoping for/waiting for someone to 'rescue' you. I was very upset recently as I was struggling so much and I could not find any support for autistic adults and felt very alone- but oddly once I realised and became more accepting that I was probably not going to get much support, I felt much calmer as I knew that I had to try and figure it out myself as best as I can. 

Don't be sorry as everyone's experiences are valid and what you say,  someone else might be able to relate to. It's really hard when you can't see a way out. I tend to go in one direction unless pushed another way. It's also hard when you can't apply previous experience to the current situation. I think that's why I got into the mess I did. I've learned that I am the only person who can change things for myself. No one else will do it. 

Yes it can be difficult with friends if they don't fully understand. They take it personally.

I am so pleased that you managed to have a break and to get back some energy and that you have figured out a way of living and working that is sustainable. It's so nice that you have a good support network too. I am luckily now also in a place where I have a few friends. But I am too exhausted for much socialising at present and some of them find it hard to understand that I am too exhausted sometimes to meet anyone. 

What you are saying is so true- it is not sustainable, not healthy and probably not worth it. I need a break. At this point, I am just struggling to see another option and I can see myself heading for disaster. In the past my body just gave up and forced me to stop (as I unintentionally loose too much weight) and I know I am heading the same way and I just don't want to go there again. I have only received my formal autism diagnosis last week and I am trying to figure out how I can get some more support. What I really need probably is a break as well as help managing stress/anxiety etc. however at this point I am at loss as to how I can make this happen. And the knowledge that I am probably heading for disaster is not helping. I'm sorry. Maybe I should make a new post about all this. I didn't intend to start pouring out all my issues in this post. The issue of exhaustion resonated with me and it just all came out... 

You have had such an incredibly busy period by the sounds of it. It's a lot for anyone to contend with. I am a little older than you and I've learned it's not worth keep pushing through because you end up ill.  I was in a period of burnout a few years ago and thought a month off work was enough. In hindsight it wasn't. 

It sounds like you are going at a hundred mile an hour all the time.  You can't keep having a bit of rest to start going full throttle again. It isn't sustainable. Can you see yourself keep doing this for the forseeable? I thought my exhaustion was a myriad of factors but this stopped me getting help. "If I could just know what it is exactly I can take steps to address it". My body stopped for me. Sometimes we just have to deal with what's going on regardless of the reason. 

The only way I can identify the fatigue now is because I've had a lengthy period off (ie more than a month) and so have given myself a bit of space to realise what's going on. I don't intend to return to the life I had before. I'm lucky because I've got an excellent support network around me. I'm on a bit more of an even keel now but have had to drastically reduce my workload. I'm using this now as an opportunity to get myself in the best environment possible for going forward which is probably WFH at least some of the week or continuing on reduced hours.

Hi, I'm glad to hear you are feeling better and less exhausted. I can very much relate to people not believing/ invalidating claims of fatigue/ inability to focus. I do think I have somewhat recovered from long covid, though I am not really any less exhausted. Initially after having covid, I was completely out for 2 months due to the fatigue, then I had horrible brain fog and just couldn't focus. Then there were a lot of changes in my life and lots of other reasons that could contribute to exhaustion so it was hard to tell what was the driving force behind it. I do think my ability to focus improved somewhat though I am not back to 'normal' as I used to have very good focus. But right now I am basically in an utter state of burnout. I had long covid after Feb 2021, then struggled so hard to finish my MPhil despite that, moved abroad 2 years later to start an internship which I hoped would lead to a PhD position. I was working like crazy, eg. 60 hours a week, I lost a lot of weight, then wasn't paid, ended up in an utter state of collapse in the New Year and despite having a week off and working much much less, it was too little too late and I was then off sick for 7 weeks (the GP decided for me in the end...) but even then I felt unable to cope and to go back to work after those 7 weeks though I had no other option- so I went back and did my best. It's not like those 7 weeks off were good though, I was so depressed/anxious and gaining back the weight was traumatic (never works the healthy way so I had to resort to more desperate measures that my digestion was not pleased with). I then kept working in a not so good environment, eventually applied for new jobs, moved abroad straight after stopping the old job, had no break and started a new job. That was just over 3 weeks ago. And I am now in a state of utter collapse. I really like the new job which makes it even more frustrating. I feel stuck, I desperately need time to recuperate but there is no way I can take time off now. but not having a rest is also going to end in a disaster most likely, I am loosing weight again, super weak and just utterly overwhelmed and incapable of dealing with anything in life. So sorry, I just rambled on and moaned so much. Really sorry. 

I wish I had some good tips about exhaustion, fatigue- I guess the only thing that I can say is that if possible not letting the exhaustion get to such a desperate state is best- Though that in itself is hard as like you pointed out it can be hard to recognise the signs soon enough and it is also difficult to take a break. I think what makes it harder is that when you are very exhausted, taking a break can result in you feeling worse for a while which can then lead to the conclusion that taking a break is bad, so it reinforces the cycle. Do you have any tips on how to recognise burnout/fatigue before it gets too late?