Published on 12, July, 2020
Recently diagnosed after seeing so many therapists for poor mental health and all of a sudden it all makes sense. I’m so tired from just not being myself for so long. I just want to be myself now and I know I would start to feel slowly better but I just don’t know how to tell people or how to deal with the questions like oh your 36 and only just found out or things like oh you don’t seem like you have autism? I feel like I have masked for so long I don’t know how to unmask!
I agree with the above, don't rush to tell people.
It will take quite some time for you to mentally process your diagnosis yourself. You need time to understand how you have been masking and gradually try and put your real self forward.
Expect an emotional rollercoaster whilst you go through all of this. I think I am still on mine. The early emotions are wholly positive. Finally it all makes sense, you begin to understand past events and realise you weren't a failure. Then you might start to feel less positive and maybe even angry as you start to question why wasn't it picked up earlier, how differently things might have turned out if you'd known and had support.
The last thing you need while trying to process all this is additional pressure trying to figure out the response from other people. Inevitably they won't react as you expect them to, maybe not at all. You don't want to feel as if you're being observed, by other people looking for your autistic traits, at the same time as you're trying to bare yourself to the world without your mask. If anyone notices you seem different and asks why, that could be an opportunity to tell them. Otherwise take your time.
Words of wisdom - nicely delivered.