Published on 12, July, 2020
Recently diagnosed after seeing so many therapists for poor mental health and all of a sudden it all makes sense. I’m so tired from just not being myself for so long. I just want to be myself now and I know I would start to feel slowly better but I just don’t know how to tell people or how to deal with the questions like oh your 36 and only just found out or things like oh you don’t seem like you have autism? I feel like I have masked for so long I don’t know how to unmask!
Its a long process. Best thing you can do is not try and do it all straight away, only do what you feel ready for and it will happen gradually. At least now you have an answer for things and you know why they are happening
Thank you! What’s the first steps to unmaking?
I think the first step is getting to know yourself. I found out I was autistic at 34 so im in a similar boat to you and i found the first thing was unpicking myself and working out which bits were really me and which bits were the masking. When weve been masking as long as we have we can lose our personalities a bit and just become who we are pretending to be if that makes sense. Spending that time with yourself and figuring out what you actually like and dislike and what youve just been pretending to like and do all these years will help and who you actually are rather than who society has made you feel you should be. Its a bit of a confusing process and can seem overwhelming but just take it slowly and you will get there in time
After that, I would say dont tell everyone at once. It took me over a year to tell most people, if you tell everyone the process will become more about whether they understand than about healing yourself if that makes sense. Maybe Just tell the one or two people closest to you for now and then do the rest when your ready
such good advise
Billy87 said:dont tell everyone at once.
I agree. You've got the rest of your life to tell people so there's no rush