Published on 12, July, 2020
The older I get the more I notice a difference between me and my peers regarding my social skills, and the more they notice a difference in me too.
I feel like as everyone is getting older and maturing i'm just frozen in time. Forever trapped as a younger person stuck in the body of an adult, no matter what I do. `No matter how hard I mask.
I felt the first big jump when I was transitioning into my teenage years. I just wanted to mess about, play classical playground games, do what we used to do. But girls my age just wanted to sit around talking about boys. Everything was changing and it was nerve wracking.
I'm now turning 23 and I'm noticing the big jump again, except this time it's worse, harder. I don't know what to do to emulate my peers at all. They can just tell that I'm different.
I don't want to get pushed out, I want friends. A romantic relationship. I've been craving more structure relationship wise because of this, a relationship with rules. I've returned to religion, not because I'm necessarily a believer but because religious people tend to have well defined social rules that I can learn, follow, and as long as I stick to those rules I'm less likely to be socially ostracised.
I'm in a lot of distress. I don't know what to do. Everything is changing so fast, faster than I can keep up with.
It’s worth remembering even though there is a perceived norm, many adults privately/publicly do not adhere to these.
I enjoy many of the typical adult things though I also still very much enjoy things that adults aren’t expected to be interested in, it will become more and more noticeable as you grow older and still take interest in these things though the main thing is don’t feel you should change for anyone.
Do what is comfortable even if that is sometimes not revealing these interests, however do not feel forced into pretentious behaviour for the comfort of others.
Getting older is already stressful, it’s not good for your well-being to add more.