Published on 12, July, 2020
I don't think I know how to relax. I don't know that I've ever been relaxed. I have been very stressed for a long time. There's no one big obvious cause right now. But it has built to a level where its causing me physical problems, like digestive issues, joint and muscle pain, headaches, palpitations, all of which can make me feel exhausted and mentally low.
Doctors have recommended things over the years to try and help relax - exercise, meditation, mindfulness, yoga - and I have dutifully tried them all. But they either don't seem to work for me, like mindfulness, or they do start to work and I suddenly get ill. Exercise, for example, I've tried a few times. I start doing small amounts every morning and evening. I keep it very gentle and only progress slowly, and I started to feel the benefit. But then as soon as that happens I end up with extreme muscle pains all over, or a cluster of migraines, or sudden terrible stomach problems. Some of these are so bad they put me in bed for days, several has necessitated a trip to the doctor and one landed me in hospital. They can last days or weeks, but they all derail the exercising (or yoga or meditation etc) and make it difficult to return to it for some time afterwards. This cycle, of cause, only serves to make the stress and anxiety worse.
Has anyone else experienced this? Could this be related to ASD or ADHD? Any advice on what to do? How does everyone else manage to relax without getting ill?
Any advice or thoughts welcome. Thanks.
There's something called post exertional malaise which happens with people who have chronic fatigue /ME or possibly fibromalgia. Also when my anxiety was really bad, I associated relaxation with anxiety. It was like i was putting pressure on myself that i needed to get rid of the anxiety and be relaxed or "do it right / successfully" and it made everything worse.