Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm feeling worried about my future, the worry is increasing every single day. Currently I'm living with my parents and I love them to bits. I also heavily rely on them, I can't cook, do phone calls, or do money and shopping. My whole life is literally me just writing and reading. They are approaching 60 now and in recent years have both suffered with health problems and I'm more than aware now that time is running out, maybe not today, or this year, but at some point they will both be gone and then my future and life will be very empty and probably extremely difficult. I know I won't cope with one of their deaths when it comes. I can hardly cope with small every day things. Death is a huge worry of mine and I know when both my parents are gone I'll crash and burn. Sometimes I look at suicide as an option, I think about it, not actually doing it just ponder it. But all the ways seem too scary and painful. And I know your not meant to and I'm a good girl always, but I still don't want to face all this and don't want to see it happen... But I know it's going to happen. Parents do die, it's a fact of life, but I can't process it and understand it all.
I've looked for support and help to understand it and stop worrying but doctors just ignored that and said I was mentally unwell. I need help with the autism but there's no help around it seems.
I'm hoping some people here may have gone through this and can help me out.
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i probably share same fears as u do. It is normal for a child to fear losing parents who has been in their shade since birth. sometimes missing them while they are there is ok too. But u know it too that you are going to spend most of your life with yourself. Get comfortable around yourself as much as you can. Feel and be with them as much as you can. As far as your career security is concerned, its an ongoing process. Find yourself a line where your writing and reading will help you get an income . Start Slowly but just have a start. Being in bed won't help. They will also get relieved when they will see you taking a stand . and for them and yourself too..just do it.