Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm feeling worried about my future, the worry is increasing every single day. Currently I'm living with my parents and I love them to bits. I also heavily rely on them, I can't cook, do phone calls, or do money and shopping. My whole life is literally me just writing and reading. They are approaching 60 now and in recent years have both suffered with health problems and I'm more than aware now that time is running out, maybe not today, or this year, but at some point they will both be gone and then my future and life will be very empty and probably extremely difficult. I know I won't cope with one of their deaths when it comes. I can hardly cope with small every day things. Death is a huge worry of mine and I know when both my parents are gone I'll crash and burn. Sometimes I look at suicide as an option, I think about it, not actually doing it just ponder it. But all the ways seem too scary and painful. And I know your not meant to and I'm a good girl always, but I still don't want to face all this and don't want to see it happen... But I know it's going to happen. Parents do die, it's a fact of life, but I can't process it and understand it all.
I've looked for support and help to understand it and stop worrying but doctors just ignored that and said I was mentally unwell. I need help with the autism but there's no help around it seems.
I'm hoping some people here may have gone through this and can help me out.
X
i sorta gone through it but i ended up also getting frustrated at being alone and that pushed me into jumping into a job which may have sorted my problems and made life easier.the trick is perhaps to try and get a permanent full time job somehow. with that you get your premade social connections from the job without effort plus money which you can save real quick living with parents to raise a deposit on a house.... or more likely just afford a rental place of your own seeing as its hard to beat landlords in bidding to buy a house now and theres so many picky requirements to get a mortgage that it will be declined at the last minute. so yeah they key is to actually get a job, which will be hard but for me the hardness and pressure and depression of being alone forced me down into a job which made getting a job easier than putting up with depression all day in my bedroom. will be a agency job at first as agencies take on anyone and dont care if you have never worked or about your cv or anything, and also they dont give you a interview, when you get picked by a agency they pretty much slot you into a job right away, no questions asked, no interview... then you just do the unskilled basic job, and likely be given permanent contract as youd likely perform better than the rest as the rest will be lazy workers or foreign workers that you will notice just want to stand around and do nothing all day at work and be give a wage just for their presence there. so its easy once you get your foot in the door with how rubbish the rest of the staff usually are. you will be a valued worker. and they will recognise that you work better alone like my line manager noticed how i pretty much can work better alone but my style gets cramped as soon as they add other workers. but yeah you should make it once you get in, and you can get in easily anywhere by agency without a interview, but it will likely be a manual labour warehousing job.