Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello everyone,
My name is Emily and I’m really struggling with moving houses. I’m 21 years old and I still live with my parents and as of yesterday they bought a new house. This was just sprung on me out of nowhere and now they are trying to sell my childhood home that I have lived in since I was born. I really want to be happy for them but deep down I’m really not, I really struggle with change and letting go of things and I really don’t know how to cope and let go (even though I don’t want to). Everyone keeps telling me it’s going to be fine and that’s it’s a new adventure but to me it feels like the world crashing down on me and that advice only makes me stress more.
My life feels like it’s flipped upside down… I just recently got a new job that I’ve been extremely stressed about and now with the stress of moving I’m really having a tough time. Does anyone have any similar experiences? or ways of coping with this? it would be really helpful to hear.
thank you in advance!
I understand how stressful even small changes in life can seem and I'm the same. If too many large changes happen at once then it can be too much to process.
I remember when I was 10 my mum moved in with her new boyfriend. I did not want to go and became incredibly distressed and overwhelmed. I was uprooted from everything I knew, moved to a different town and a different school. I had to share the new house with this stranger and his three teenage sons. Thankfully the relationship failed after a year and we moved back to my childhood home. However that was the most traumatic year of my childhood and the stress of it probably damaged me for life.
It's a pity your parents didn't discuss their plans with you when they were first thinking of moving. They could have taken you with them when they viewed houses. You should have had a say if you will be living there too. It seems very insensitive of them. Changes that are sprung out of nowhere like that are much harder to deal with.
It is going to take time to process as autistic brains take much longer to process such changes.
Having you thought about when you will want to move out of the family home and live independently, assuming it is something you could afford to do. I'm just wondering if considering that now might avoid the upheaval of moving twice. At least you would be in control of where you want to go and not have the change forced upon you.
I know the feeling you describe. I arrived several months in this state, aggravated by the fact that my realtor slipped me a bad apartment and signed the contract on my behalf. Unfortunately, many realtors are trying to deceive their clients in favor of their own benefit. That is why, in my opinion, before concluding a contract, it is better to use the services of a housing appraiser [link removed by moderator] who can tell you whether it is worth concluding a contract. I can only advise you to find new acquaintances or join a club where people of common interests will be gathered to distract from negative thoughts.