Moving houses

Change can be tough, especially when it's such a big one like moving houses. I remember when my family moved when I was a kid - it felt like leaving behind a piece of my heart. It's completely okay to have mixed feelings about it. One thing that helped me was finding a way to preserve the memories from my childhood home. As for the advice people are giving, I know it might sound cliché, but they're right in their own way. It's a new chapter, a fresh start, and while it might not feel like it now, there could be exciting things ahead. On the contrary, I would advise you to read more [link removed by Mod] to find a way to take with you what will bind you to this house.. It's okay to be hesitant, but sometimes these changes lead us to unexpected opportunities.

I feel your pain, I am 53 and only lived in 4 houses. We will be moving in early 2025, by then we would have lived here 20 years, and it is weird that somebody else will own my house. It is natural to feel how you do, your home is your one constant in life. Think of this as your first big adult experience. You are young and these sort of things will happen many times in your life. Try and learn from what is going on because one day you may be doing this with your family?

First off, big hugs to you during this overwhelming time! Remember, it's okay to feel the way you do. Change can be tough, but it also brings new opportunities and growth. Maybe start by creating a keepsake box with items from your childhood home to keep those memories close.As for moving, it might help to seek professional assistance. Companies like Three Movers [ink removed by Moderator] specialize in making the process smoother. It's great that you reached out here – connecting with others who've been through similar situations can provide a lot of comfort and advice.

It's tough, but after moving house maybe 14/15 times now, I have developed a solution to your problem.

It's all about familiarity.

You are familiar with your surroundings, routines, and they bring you comfort. This is about to change.

So, the solution, is to be proactive in developing new routines, places of familiarity, and therefore a new set of comforting spaces for yourself.

The only way to do this is move, with a bold spirit, in the knowledge that it's going to be new for a month or so, but the more you repeat these new routines, the quicker you will get to the olacenof comfort and familiarity.

Only by leaving into the experience will you find relief. Shy away from the challenge, or hide, and the anxiety will only grow and sustain for longer.

Actually, that's the same for all causes of anxiety.

I wish you all the best, and I promise you can do this.

Home, will likely always be the memories you have of the old house. But you can find a new place to feel comfortable and this will become a new home in time

Best of luck, let us know how it goes, we're here to support you as you go

I know the feeling you describe. I arrived several months in this state, aggravated by the fact that my realtor slipped me a bad apartment and signed the contract on my behalf. Unfortunately, many realtors are trying to deceive their clients in favor of their own benefit. That is why, in my opinion, before concluding a contract, it is better to use the services of a housing appraiser [link removed by moderator] who can tell you whether it is worth concluding a contract. I can only advise you to find new acquaintances or join a club where people of common interests will be gathered to distract from negative thoughts.

Hi Emily, this sounds like a big transition, especially while you're trying to settle into a new job! It's totally natural for you to feel upset and disoriented. I think that's important to recognise first before trying to see the bright side. You're likely experiencing a kind of grief. It'll take time to process the loss of your childhood safe space and that's ok. Pease be patient with yourself. 

I've moved many times and still struggle with the upheaval of it all. One thing that I do is identify some things that won't change - even something as simple as a snack that I can get reliably, a book that I love, music that helps me feel calm, a friend or family member that I can meet with.

I also like to find something I can take control of. Even though you don't want to move, it might be helpful to learn about the moving process. This doesn't have to be a fun process, just one you can navigate. 

The move might be chaotic - it might help if you can create a temporary space in your home or room that you can retreat to when feeling overwhelmed. Even if it's just a corner that everyone knows not to change until absolutely necessary and only after discussing with you. In this space, have something that helps soothe sensory overload.

I hope something in this helps. All the best to you!

I understand how stressful even small changes in life can seem and I'm the same. If too many large changes happen at once then it can be too much to process.

I remember when I was 10 my mum moved in with her new boyfriend. I did not want to go and became incredibly distressed and overwhelmed. I was uprooted from everything I knew, moved to a different town and a different school. I had to share the new house with this stranger and his three teenage sons. Thankfully the relationship failed after a year and we moved back to my childhood home. However that was the most traumatic year of my childhood and the stress of it probably damaged me for life.

It's a pity your parents didn't discuss their plans with you when they were first thinking of moving. They could have taken you with them when they viewed houses. You should have had a say if you will be living there too. It seems very insensitive of them. Changes that are sprung out of nowhere like that are much harder to deal with.

It is going to take time to process as autistic brains take much longer to process such changes.

Having you thought about when you will want to move out of the family home and live independently, assuming it is something you could afford to do. I'm just wondering if considering that now might avoid the upheaval of moving twice. At least you would be in control of where you want to go and not have the change forced upon you.

I get it. They don't understand. What makes a house a home?

• Birthday parties.
• Friends sat on the sofa with you watching dvds.
• The people who've shared your bed, shared your table, shared your food.
• The games you've played with outers, the music you listened to with them.
• The dreadful nights you needed some one to talk to and they stayed up to talk with you or just keep you distracted.

They don't understand that as children you have a home made for you by your parents, your family. Even after those times are gone the memories remain, the home remains. As an adult moving into a new house they assume all this will happen for you. But for autistic people it often doesn't. So often we don't get homes, just houses, empty rooms filled with our stuff but not other people we care about. Our houses never become homes.