Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, just wondering if anyone else finds eating out in restaurants hell, I have always struggled with menus and finding something that I can tolerate, but it was only six months ago that I realised that I’m autistic. Looking through a menu fills me with anxiety, will there be anything I can eat? My wife has had a lot to deal with over the last 35 years, the last six months I’ve started telling her what affects me, some of my dislikes and things that cause me sensory overload. One of these things is food that is out of my safe group. We did a recent trip to Milan, ended up in KFC and McDonald’s 3 times as I just needed to eat.
I see a lot of posts on here from partners of autistic people asking for help with trying to work out their partners. I’m trying to show how hard it is from the other side, Being told that your being awkward and making everything about you isn’t helpful. A trip to Spain recently led to a big meltdown in the hotel’s main restaurant. I just couldn’t find a food that I could eat and then the noise of people all talking at once finished with me crashing. We went to a local gastro pub last night and it was a fish night ( unknown to me), I started to shutdown and get told off for starting the silent treatment. Being asked if your okay is fine, after about 4 times it becomes patronising and if you say your not then you are ruining the night. My wife to be honest has tried a lot to understand me, but sometimes I feel totally cutoff and have no one to talk to who actually understands, even most professionals aren’t actually autistic. Being told to try and be a bit more adventurous doesn’t help. sorry to rant on, just finding food and being understood hard at the moment, how do some of you cope in eateries? on a brighter note, cheese sandwiches for lunch today!
I really like restaurants, the best thing for you to do is to look at the menu a day or two before going to the restaurant and pick the type of food you would like, so plan things, and pick some second choice options too. Try and ask for a table that is near a wall rather than in the middle. and enjoy your meal.
Thats a good tip about looking online at the menu before the day. Partly to reassure that theres at least one thing you can have. But it also takes the pressure off that sensory overload experience of a hindred voices going at once, while you try to divide attention between reading a menu and not tuning out of the conversation, while thr countdown to ‘are you all ready to order?’ races by
im seldom in restaurants and generally quite like it as a rare treat, even knowing im going to run my introvert batteries flat over the couple of hours im there and take days to fully recover. I have to make gluten free choices too, though oddly i still always end up bloated and uncomfortable after eating even those. Either trace elements of other things my body doesnt like, or an inflammatory reaction to the stress of extra social effort and social anxiety?