Eating out

I can totally relate to your struggle with eating out, especially when dealing with sensory issues and specific food preferences. It's tough navigating menus and finding something that feels safe and comfortable, especially in unfamiliar places. I remember a trip where I found myself in a similar situation—unable to find suitable options and feeling overwhelmed by the environment.

Allergic reactions must be such a lottery with restaurants. My niece has some serious ones as well and I feel bad for her that she'll always have to restrict and calculate the gamble of eating out with great care when she's older. 

I'm not a huge outgoing person but sometimes a meal out can be nice.

I have a lot of health problems. Two stop me from wanting to eat out. One is constantly carrying oxygen and my breathing mask round with me. The other is severe allergic reactions, so when I eat I've got to be 110% sure I won't have a reaction. 

So ordinarily I will stay home.

I feel the same about eating out so I don't do it. If I absolutely had to have food while away from home and hadn't brought any with me I'd go to a supermarket and buy bread. The whole experience of eating out is unpleasant and overly difficult. Most places have shops that will sell you food where you (a) know what's in it and (b) can eat immediately, so I don't know why anyone would hang around waiting in a restaurant and pay a lot of money for something that's probably greasy, spicy, or just not what you were expecting. The only argument I can see for eating in a restaurant is if you want to be indoors for a while, eg if it's raining, and you have nowhere else to go.

Thanks for the information, I will try to figure it out for more. Keep sharing such informative post keep suggesting such post.

I like eating out it beats being stuck in the same four walls all day.

My main problem is picking from the menu I struggle to make decisions so choosing can be a long process and often exhausting.

I haven't been out for a meal for a long time. When we used to go out, mostly on family holidays I tried to look up menus of possible places we would go as my son is like me. In the end we mostly ate in with simple prepared things from the supermarket. We even had a delivery on one occasion from the supermarket. Made it more relaxing. We didn't go abroad though. 

Hi, I don't have a solution to this but I just wanted to say that I can relate- I struggle a lot with eating and food and I have a tendency to eat the same thing over and over - I find eating out very stressful too and avoid it completely at the moment. In the past I would go to one or two restaurants where I was familiar with the menu and would always order the same thing more or less. Eating out can be so stressful so I have a lot of respect for anyone who faces that stress. I can also relate to the noise issue in restaurants- I cannot eat when it is too loud and as a kid I even ended up hiding in the restaurant bathroom because I could not tolerate the music in the restaurant. Sorry I don't really have a solution, but I can relate. Could you maybe as a compromise sometimes get a takeaway when on vacation, your partner could get what they fancied at a restaurant and you could get something too or you could just buy some bread and cheese from supermarket and have that :). That would also sort out the noise issue... I find it very understandable that eating out is super stressful

I never liked eating out. Too noisy and afraid of getting food poisoning. Simple meals at home like soup always suited me best.

Haha liked that 

I had problems going out for food from my late teens to my late thirties. (We didn’t ever go out for meals when I was a kid.) I hated everything about it. It was noisy, people were everywhere, I could never choose what to eat, needed ages to actually be able to read everything on it as well. I needed to also see how to eat the foods, and how much chewing was needed etc. Also, I just couldn’t eat in front of people, so I avoided it where possible. I would eat at home first, and pick at my meals in the restaurant.  I never knew when to speak and when to put food in my mouth, in case I was asked something. I have to find the right table, and also the right chair to sit in, or else I will be agitated for the duration. I also have an issue with crumbs and stuff that might be in the table, and I hate eating from cutlery that isn’t mine!

Anyway, since I realised I was autistic in 2019, and diagnosed recently, I can now look at all this in a new light.  I have been able to go out for meals for about 10 years now,  but I still avoid it for the most part. I still have so much anxiety.

I don't like menus. Too many options, many of which I don't understand. I don't like having to make decisions about things I'm not interested in.

Yes, I can relate. I don’t like menus either which I usually always order the same meal when I go out to a restaurant. Too much unnecessary decision making.

Thats a good tip about looking online at the menu before the day. Partly to reassure that theres at least one thing you can have. But it also takes the pressure off that sensory overload experience of a hindred voices going at once, while you try to divide attention between reading a menu and not tuning out of the conversation, while thr countdown to ‘are you all ready to order?’  races by

im seldom in restaurants and generally quite like it as a rare treat, even knowing im going to  run my introvert batteries flat over the couple of hours im there and take days to fully recover. I have to make gluten free choices too, though oddly i still always end up bloated and uncomfortable after eating even those. Either trace elements of other things my body doesnt like, or an inflammatory reaction to the stress of extra social effort and social anxiety? 

To be honest I treat eating just as a function, I find the having a menu thrust into my hands and then being asked to make a choice quite daunting. The whole restaurant thing is like a dance that I don’t know the steps to. You are right in the comments of, “you always have that” and being judged. If you said to a waiter that you was vegan or lactose intolerant, they would ask what they can do for you. If you told them you are autistic and have food intolerances, I think you would get the, “ you really are aliens aren’t you”

I do really prefer just cooking my own food. I get exactly what I want, how I want it.

I hate restaurants, I avoid them at all costs.

Eating out is no good for me. My health needs require me carrying things around with me which is awkward taking in a restaurant or coffee shop.

And then I find having to mask utterly exhausting. And the noise from others talking in them is unsettling for me.

Best for me to just eat at home :) 

Yes.

I dislike eating out for a variety of reasons. But excluding the social and sensory difficulties, it is about food, and choice.

I don't like menus. Too many options, many of which I don't understand. I don't like having to make decisions about things I'm not interested in. And, I don't like paying more money for something I can have at home, food.

But my issue is with food itself. As much as I enjoy eating, I don't like the mental gymnastics I have to go through when I need to eat. I often forget to eat, don't know when I'm hungry, and don't know what I want to eat.

It's just food. Some of it is good, some of it's bad, some of it is neutral. But I generally have no interest in food. I have other things on my mind.

I've been told that I'm missing out because I don't indulge in another culture's cuisine, I do, but I don't need to make a point about it.

I've been told not to be so awkward about it. But I feel like I'm being judged when I eat out, because of my food choices, or lack of.

Having said that, I've gone through phases where the only food I eat is round 

I will eat virtually anything that I do not have a food intolerance for, excepting frogs' legs, snails (for very specific reasons related to doing a zoology degree) and anything of a blancmange-like texture. My NT wife, in contrast, has so many things that she does not like - not intolerances - that eating out is frustrating. Very often I have swapped plates with my wife due to her finding something she doesn't like in her meal. 

Maybe he's masking; to impress his Mates. 

yeah, I hate a man obsessed with being rude and degrading to women. it is bad company.

I really like restaurants, the best thing for you to do is to look at the menu a day or two before going to the restaurant and pick the type of food you would like, so plan things, and pick some second choice options too. Try and ask for a table that is near a wall rather than in the middle. and enjoy your meal.