Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, just wondering if anyone else finds eating out in restaurants hell, I have always struggled with menus and finding something that I can tolerate, but it was only six months ago that I realised that I’m autistic. Looking through a menu fills me with anxiety, will there be anything I can eat? My wife has had a lot to deal with over the last 35 years, the last six months I’ve started telling her what affects me, some of my dislikes and things that cause me sensory overload. One of these things is food that is out of my safe group. We did a recent trip to Milan, ended up in KFC and McDonald’s 3 times as I just needed to eat.
I see a lot of posts on here from partners of autistic people asking for help with trying to work out their partners. I’m trying to show how hard it is from the other side, Being told that your being awkward and making everything about you isn’t helpful. A trip to Spain recently led to a big meltdown in the hotel’s main restaurant. I just couldn’t find a food that I could eat and then the noise of people all talking at once finished with me crashing. We went to a local gastro pub last night and it was a fish night ( unknown to me), I started to shutdown and get told off for starting the silent treatment. Being asked if your okay is fine, after about 4 times it becomes patronising and if you say your not then you are ruining the night. My wife to be honest has tried a lot to understand me, but sometimes I feel totally cutoff and have no one to talk to who actually understands, even most professionals aren’t actually autistic. Being told to try and be a bit more adventurous doesn’t help. sorry to rant on, just finding food and being understood hard at the moment, how do some of you cope in eateries? on a brighter note, cheese sandwiches for lunch today!
Yes.
I dislike eating out for a variety of reasons. But excluding the social and sensory difficulties, it is about food, and choice.
I don't like menus. Too many options, many of which I don't understand. I don't like having to make decisions about things I'm not interested in. And, I don't like paying more money for something I can have at home, food.
But my issue is with food itself. As much as I enjoy eating, I don't like the mental gymnastics I have to go through when I need to eat. I often forget to eat, don't know when I'm hungry, and don't know what I want to eat.
It's just food. Some of it is good, some of it's bad, some of it is neutral. But I generally have no interest in food. I have other things on my mind.
I've been told that I'm missing out because I don't indulge in another culture's cuisine, I do, but I don't need to make a point about it.
I've been told not to be so awkward about it. But I feel like I'm being judged when I eat out, because of my food choices, or lack of.
Having said that, I've gone through phases where the only food I eat is round
To be honest I treat eating just as a function, I find the having a menu thrust into my hands and then being asked to make a choice quite daunting. The whole restaurant thing is like a dance that I don’t know the steps to. You are right in the comments of, “you always have that” and being judged. If you said to a waiter that you was vegan or lactose intolerant, they would ask what they can do for you. If you told them you are autistic and have food intolerances, I think you would get the, “ you really are aliens aren’t you”
I do really prefer just cooking my own food. I get exactly what I want, how I want it.