Published on 12, July, 2020
Probably feel more anxious these days when I'm by myself than when I'm at work which is ironic cause by the end of a week I feel like I need a few days off with no people Worried about others always alone even though I still live at home worrying about the future trying to make sense of why nurotypicals hate us and why they hate us feeling butter cause nothing ever changes for us. Scared to go out on my days off cause you think everyone is out to screw you over even though in reality there not and not being able sleep due to dwelling on the past and thinking back to how you've been treated and feeling like your in hell I don't beleive in heaven hell but metaphoricaly. Speaking. Like s constant headache that won't go away.
My anxiety is the worst it has ever been and this crept up on me after I graduated. There have been a lot of personal changes since then, including coming out as non-binary and my best friend coming out as transgender. The news (especially the reports on anti-LGBT laws being passed in America) are a massive trigger for my anxiety. However, I am happy that my parents provide me free board, food and I'm not required to work, especially since we're by no means the richest household around. Google 'the spotlight effect' in regards to your social anxiety going out. It essentially means that your mind is playing a trick on you that makes you believe that everybody surrounding you is focusing on you. In reality, people are focusing on what they are having for dinner that night; how much petrol they need to put in their car and other mundane life thoughts. Positive vibes being sent your way
Well done for coming out. You have my support.