Who else has or does Copy other people

Sometimes I see someone who I think looks great or is able to do things I wish I could do and find myself really wanting to be them and then I'll try to do as they do. This is exhausting and leaves me feeling drained and empty after.

But generally I try not to do this. Just try to be myself.

i find this quite interesting Catlover, as I do this all the time in work as well. I find myself copying what people say and how they say it. sometimes it can be quite embarrassing, as, if there is a pause in the conversation I have ended up saying exactly the same  thing that the other person ends up saying at the same time as them. it then kills the conversation dead. 

Then their approach would be indistinguishable from the neurotypical approach. I did not mean to imply that there was no overlap. I remember a definite instance of me deliberately copying as a child. Somewhere around 9 years old I became aware that most of my peers were interested in football. I deliberately copied their engagement with the game, had football boots bought for me, acquired a Subbuteo game, watched 'Match of the Day' etc. etc. It took me probably about a year to discover that football was entirely uninteresting for me.

It is a recognised feature of some autistic girls that they will consciously model themselves on a particular socially successful peer. It is commented on in a reasonable amount of psychology literature.

Jenny Butterfly said:

And certain limitations seem to be inbuilt. 

indeed

Copying: NDs often don't want to opt-out, NTs don't see such an option, they are singular about everything

Not sure.  If I could have shaped myself into being the me I wanted to be, I'd have done it by now.  And certain limitations seem to be inbuilt.  I'm now working on greater self acceptance and seeing what emerges.  Discovering that I'm autistic has definitely helped though.  

We are very much a meld of other people, starting with parents or those that raised us, and then children and adults we interact with or see on TV etc.

Finding the real you is just getting to know all these things, but you could really form the you that you want to be and that might be easier.

I disagree. I didn’t know I was copying when I was a junior or teen. Hell, even as a young adult. I was just assimilating.

I can see.  Is that deliberate to see what happens or just automatic?.

Jenny Butterfly said:

Sometimes I wonder who the real me is.     

I think some of the real me IS this...to copy and mirror. I'm ok with that.

I've often done this and, when I'm masking (even subconsciously) I'm drawing on all of my experiences of copying and trying to match the situation with the right one.  Or sometimes an amalgamation of several.  The fear is of not being accepted as I am, being rumbled as an outsider, which often happened even in spite of my efforts. 

These days I'm more aware of when I'm doing it and why, but even now, at age 59, I find myself saying something or using a mannerism I copied from one of the more popular girls in my year at school at age around 13/14.  Sometimes I wonder who the real me is.     

I use colloquialisms when talking.

Ah - actually, animals work on instinct. A bird is pushed from the nest and it just automatically flies on instinct. Every animal except humans. Not only this, our instincts can work against us. Quite interesting... 

Its a subconscious thing, it just happens and may be no awareness.  Sometimes you might deliberately want to copy, but that will originate from subconscious desires/urges.

Its about what your beliefs and alignments are, feeding your behaviour.

I disagree. I think some autistic people do it without knowing or being aware. I think it can be quite automatic.

All the comments are very interesting and it’s good because it helps me to learn more about myself by sharing, thank you  

Young animals watch the adults and learn, mirror neurons make sense, otherwise they wouldn't learn how to survive - just blankly looking at parents not realising they are being taught something they need to do.  We are animals, so also work that way.

Autimator said:

they aren't held-back by having to be a certain way, personal freedom. 

Yes I think there could be a tendency for neurotypical people to admire this is neuro divergent people. They want to be able to do this!

Look in to Mirror Neurons. It is still something being discovered and discussed. 

It is a natural way humans learn. And it's not terrible :) For instance, the wealth of magazines which exist can help us find our own aesthetic. But the Library can help too. All humans need to learn how to get on in life. One can decide which things to excel at and which to just carry out the task on. Being shown how to wash a dish and what tools are the most useful for this is always helpful. There are a range of soaps and a range of brushes, sponges, etc. Some scours are too abrasive for certain pans, some sponges too soft. Some soaps aren't very good. This may seem like a simple task and why bother being too exact with it? But if you were shown a few secrets to a more efficient way to perform the task and the best and most cost-effective way to engage with it, it might shave off just a few extra minutes from your day, or make you feel a little more resolved with dish washing. Simple and silly example. But useful :)

To add: We all learn by example. never underestimate the potency of a good mentor or the damage of a bad one. In other words, once I realised I might accidentally try to mimic the world around (whether doing it poorly or well), I began to choose what I would be surrounded by or influenced by.

Copying others is automatic really, can be out of a need to learn but also fear of not fitting in.

ND people can find it hard to copy NT people and fit-in and struggle with who they are, but others are happy and confident with who they are and no need or desire to be more NT.   Many ND people tend to be diverse in other ways because they aren't held-back by having to be a certain way, personal freedom.  It can be brave, but its liberating and good for your brain to be who you really are or want to be.