Published on 12, July, 2020
Were any of you bullied as children/teenagers? I was subjected to mild mocking/teasing at prep school, but that was nothing like the severe verbal bullying I was subjected to at public school. I was introverted,shy,badly coordinated and socially awkward/naive. In other . words, not like the usual brash and extremely self confident people that went there. Nearly 50 years later and I still struggle with the psychological effects of it. I've never been able to pursue further education in a bricks and mortar setting for fear of being bullied and mocked My 1st psych admission was at the start of my last term at public school, the A level term.Hence no A levels and no degree.
My self belief and sense of self worth is gossamer thin. Ditto my self confidence. If I do well at something my mind says 'everyone can'. If I do badly at something then I'm stupid.
I'm the same when it comes to making friends. A major factor in developing a SMI for me was not wanting to let my parents down, whilst being fully aware I'd struggle to cope with the non academic side of university life.The 20 or so months of acute anxiety and worry had a long and devastating effect on me.
I was bullied through every stage of school from pre-school.
Like yourself, I didn't pursue further education at the time - my thinking was, I survived the "mandatory" school period, and I wasn't going to subject myself to sixth form/college/university and endure the same.
I have always been shy/introverted, and I'm no good at making friends. During school years I have had a total of 2 proper friends across the entirety of my school time with no overlap, and things have not really improved socially speaking from then.
I have studied with the Open University and I can recommend that - they're geared toward people who have no further education experience and/or returning to education at a later stage in life
Not everybody can and you ain’t stupid.