Published on 12, July, 2020
Were any of you bullied as children/teenagers? I was subjected to mild mocking/teasing at prep school, but that was nothing like the severe verbal bullying I was subjected to at public school. I was introverted,shy,badly coordinated and socially awkward/naive. In other . words, not like the usual brash and extremely self confident people that went there. Nearly 50 years later and I still struggle with the psychological effects of it. I've never been able to pursue further education in a bricks and mortar setting for fear of being bullied and mocked My 1st psych admission was at the start of my last term at public school, the A level term.Hence no A levels and no degree.
My self belief and sense of self worth is gossamer thin. Ditto my self confidence. If I do well at something my mind says 'everyone can'. If I do badly at something then I'm stupid.
My first experience of being bullied was at infant school, when I was around 5 years old. The bullying continued throughout my education... mostly in the form of name-calling, although there were a couple of occasions when I was beaten up.
Back in the 1970s and 80s when I was at school, it seemed to be the case that boys were more likely to be the victims of physical bullying, whereas girls generally tended to be the victims of emotional bullying.
There were people I was at school with that I have long since forgotten the names of, but the names of the bullies are scorched in my memory, along with the memories of how those bullies had made me feel.
I happened to encounter one of the bullies at a friend's wedding back in 2013, so I told them how they had made me feel back when we had been at school. The person was absolutely mortified and profusely apologetic, as they genuinely had no idea just how much their behaviour towards me at school had negatively affected me.