Published on 12, July, 2020
Were any of you bullied as children/teenagers? I was subjected to mild mocking/teasing at prep school, but that was nothing like the severe verbal bullying I was subjected to at public school. I was introverted,shy,badly coordinated and socially awkward/naive. In other . words, not like the usual brash and extremely self confident people that went there. Nearly 50 years later and I still struggle with the psychological effects of it. I've never been able to pursue further education in a bricks and mortar setting for fear of being bullied and mocked My 1st psych admission was at the start of my last term at public school, the A level term.Hence no A levels and no degree.
My self belief and sense of self worth is gossamer thin. Ditto my self confidence. If I do well at something my mind says 'everyone can'. If I do badly at something then I'm stupid.
Well, my sibling was the school bully, so I couldn't escape the bullying from school or from home. If bullying only happened at school, I'd think of how lucky they were, because at least they didn't have to live with their bully! But it would be even better if there was no bullying at all.
But you have to realize, that the people who have bullied you, would have never thought or imagined that the bullying that they did to you, would have lingered 50 years into the future, and prevented you from living your life. Children and teenagers don't think about their own future, let alone how much their actions would have impacted someone 50 years into the future. They just think of how much fun they were having bullying and teasing someone during the time. Had they known that their actions would have caused 50 years of suffering, I wonder if they would have ever done it.
It sounds like you've been around people with big egos, who have diminished your achievements as something that "everyone can do" so that you're not special for accomplishing that feat, and if you can't do something, they'll call you stupid. These kinds of people push you down no matter if you win or lose.
The thing is, there are achievements that were achieved by other people, but if you've done it, you're now among those people who have achieved it, like climbing Mount Everest. And if you like a subject, and if you're brand new to it, all you can do is gain skills and knowledge over time. That's the path everyone takes.
If everyone in the world used their potential to the highest degree, we'd have more progress made in humanity, more technological advances, cures for diseases, expeditions into the oceans or into space.
Imagine if these egotistical bullies stopped an amazingly intelligent person from pursuing their highest potential in life, a person who could have became an amazing doctor or surgeon, who would have saved countless lives, but this person was bullied into having bad mental health, never pursued their dreams, and now those people can't be saved. When I think about that, I just end up disliking bullies more, for halting the progress of humanity, by diminishing those who could have ended up helping so many people.