Published on 12, July, 2020
I've spent over a decade bouncing between counselors and other services that have been trying to treat me for anxiety, with only mild success. Most counselors give up on me after a couple of months. The most successful intervention I've found has been daily physical exercise, which has mostly removed the background anxiety I've felt my whole life, so now I only get stressed out by particular events and situations.
I've read a lot about anxiety and tried various approaches to treating it, most recently acceptance and commitment therapy. Most approaches seem to work in the idea that if you keep doing something you're anxious about, you'll soon stop being anxious about it. This is the opposite of my experience but everything I read is so adamant that this is the way that to some extent I've persevered.
I recently read Autism in Adults by Luke Beardon and the chapter on anxiety describes my experience better than anything else I've ever read. It doesn't focus on worries about being liked or feelings of inferiority, which I don't really have, but on the overwhelming nature of new and social situations.
What I found interesting is that the approach suggested by the book is the opposite of everything I've ever been told about treating anxiety. It suggests modifying the environment to remove triggers, rather than trying to desensitise yourself to them. Working to have more stability in your life, rather than learning to accept and embrace change. Explaining to people that you NEED accommodations. Everyone who has ever treated me for anxiety would call this "avoidance" and say it's bad.
Where I have over the last 10 or so years taken the approach of modifying my life to remove anxiety triggers, I've generally been happier as a result. e.g. generally doing much less social stuff, sticking to routines, insisting on concrete plans, using text based rather than voice communication, etc. I have fewer meltdowns, less fatigue, and greater feelings of well being with a simpler, more solitary life. However people around me always regard these changes as "giving in" to anxiety and think they will make me less happy in the long run.
I thought this was interesting. Does anyone have similar experiences of dealing with anxiety and found that they had more success with managing it after being identified as on the spectrum?
Half of my anxiety will be due to not being able to identify or understand a thing and the other half from unresolved issues. Taking up a small wedge of this pie would be recurring harmonies or melodies which are terrorising late at night and won't stop playing in my head (for one brother of mine it is maths).
Once I find the source of the pressure, or understand the mechanism (a physical element or a psychological exchange), and also the appropriate practical response to fix, work around or remove the obstacle, the anxiety is gone. This could be a relationship with a terrorising individual or a lightbulb. The more tried and true wisdom (Chesterton, Orwell, Lewis, Fromm - add a myriad of others) I've received about the Law of the Nature of Humans and problem/resolution practical applications, the easier life has become. Family issues I cannot resolve due to misaligned values, I have mental steps to rememeber where I am and where they are, what's mine to fix and what's not.
I've never heard of this:
HP35 said:Most approaches seem to work in the idea that if you keep doing something you're anxious about, you'll soon stop being anxious about it.
But it is completely absurd and inhumane.
JuniperFromGallifrey said:But it is completely absurd and inhumane.
Yes. When my sister died, I was forced to talk a lot with other people. I also stopped being depressed, because there was no point anymore. So in my case - that approach actually worked.