Published on 12, July, 2020
Does anyone else hate birthdays?
I had one yesterday. I detested everything about it. They make me feel anxious, and the lead up to it is horrible. I can’t express how they make me feel, but I fought back a meltdown in the morning, as I had work. It was a real struggle and I still feel bad today.
I don’t like people saying happy birthday, so tried to keep my head down. I don’t understand the point of birthdays, but I still feel conflicted about what I should be doing on the day. Society expected that you do certain things to celebrate. I don’t want to celebrate. But if I don’t do something to mark the occasion, I feel left out and dejected. I don’t know why.
I still get a little cake, and I do like receiving cards. If I don’t get one, it does upset me, because it’s not hard to do, and doesn’t take any effort.
Gifts aren’t important to me, and I get stressed when I’m asked what I’d like (because I’m hard to buy for). I don’t want anyone wasting money on me, and to be honest, at this age I don’t need anything. As far as I can recall, I’ve been like this since a young child. I’m 49 by the way.
I always feel weird on my birthday day. I can't pinpoint it but I get the same feeling on new years eve. Altho im never usually in work on my biryhday, I never have understood the rule that you take a cake in for your birthday into work. If anything it should be the other way round. Having said that, I find it strange people have parties. What makes people think they're so special that everyone should celebrate their birthday? Maybe im looking at it wrongly and its celebrating another year that you're alive. I like to go for a nice meal with my partner as this is a nice excuse to go out, or see my friend who has a birthday very near mine.