Published on 12, July, 2020
Does anyone else hate birthdays?
I had one yesterday. I detested everything about it. They make me feel anxious, and the lead up to it is horrible. I can’t express how they make me feel, but I fought back a meltdown in the morning, as I had work. It was a real struggle and I still feel bad today.
I don’t like people saying happy birthday, so tried to keep my head down. I don’t understand the point of birthdays, but I still feel conflicted about what I should be doing on the day. Society expected that you do certain things to celebrate. I don’t want to celebrate. But if I don’t do something to mark the occasion, I feel left out and dejected. I don’t know why.
I still get a little cake, and I do like receiving cards. If I don’t get one, it does upset me, because it’s not hard to do, and doesn’t take any effort.
Gifts aren’t important to me, and I get stressed when I’m asked what I’d like (because I’m hard to buy for). I don’t want anyone wasting money on me, and to be honest, at this age I don’t need anything. As far as I can recall, I’ve been like this since a young child. I’m 49 by the way.
I understand what you mean. My birthday was yesterday and I really don’t like the attention it brings and the increase in social expectations. I do appreciate others nice intentions though.
Catlover said:Society expected that you do certain things to celebrate. I don’t want to celebrate
Yes, I understand. Sometimes I think it would be easier if it was treated as just another day because that could be in your best interests. Do you feel the same?
Sometimes birthdays can just bring unnecessary stimuli when they should be about you.
Ugh, yes I feel like I want to rip my head off or turn myself inside out (like some 80’s horror I remember watching once…) Too much input. Like you though, I appreciate the nice sentiments, but only written or in text. Hearing it is too much.
Yes I agree, birthdays come with too much pressure. Also because the overstimulation is only for one day, it’s all of a sudden. Ideally an autistic friendly birthday for me would be spending time with my twin, opening presents then listening to autistic podcasts and responding to posts on this community. I really like to spend birthdays with family.
Birthdays should be whatever kind of day you want it to be. What would your ideal autistic friendly birthday be like?
Catlover said:Like you though, I appreciate the nice sentiments, but only written or in text. Hearing it is too much.
I like to say ‘I appreciate the intention, but not the attention.’