Published on 12, July, 2020
General overview is that I thought since I was 8 that I had anxiety, and only this year (I'm 18) have I realised I think I'm autistic. Today when I was in what I think is sensory overload I felt anxious exactly how I used to feel it and now I don't know if i was feeling anxiety or it's something related to autism. When I search things up its always from the allistic persons POV and all I want to do is find out how to recover and minimise these feelings, because I've just been feeling horrible in general this whole week for no reason and I feel like it's related to burnout but I just don't know what to do
Anxiety is always a response. There is always a reason and it is 9/10 times fixable, though sometimes not immediate. It is a human survival response. We would have it in the wild when sensing danger and it would provide the human body with that extra Kick of exertion to escape.
I would get it when I felt trapped or stuck around unsafe people or in a relationship I felt compromised in. One can get it before they perform on a stage and learn to harness the energy for an emotionally charged performance. Anxiety is essentially the same chemical response to Excitement. Depending on who we are we might like or not like surprises. We can feel excited when discovering a new breakthrough - equation or a new melodic structure or bird type which can turn to anxiety if the brain can't shut down, like overloading a power supply, which can lead to stress.
Autistic humans are far more vulnerable and therefore exposed to the elements around them: air, lighting, sound, and other seemingly invisible things in chemistry and physics. We are also internally sensitive, our biology might not work with more modern farming, genetic modifying, toxic sprays, we might even have a reaction to what an animal ate if we consume them. We can have a reaction to what is in the soil even or cross contamination and this might affect us before the rest of the population.
I really love this blog: https://autcollab.org/2020/04/30/autism-the-cultural-immune-system-of-human-societies/?fbclid=IwAR37xumHkRga0hADICA80wxaWycn7_Kr9Oc6uZhcs2zJ0QzamXOI4qwU2bQ it expresses how we're affected in a way that can help understand how being more in-tune with the planet, we can feel the impact of change. Society is currently working in ways where corporations can just raze the general public without any accountability, in turn promote very unethical behaviour. We sense all this only it can take us an incredibly long time to find the language to communicate it. At 20, I read The Artists Way. And I had already started trying to read philosophy and sociologists knowing I was confused. A symbolic logic class helped. Learning to engage my senses in a safe environment helped (spend time in nature, feel and smell grass, flowers - sit with enjoyable things for a luxurious amount of time. tap on different glasses and spend time listening when no one is around). Spend a generous time finding YOU. And thing find principles of being a good human. All of these things can help eventually ease daily anxiety.
The sensory overload is the key. That's often what generates the anxiety. So, it's not 'anxiety or autsm', it's a case of anxiety because of autism.
But, you don't have to live with anxiety. Some people go for meds- I won't and anyway are neurologies often react to those things differently. But, there are other things you can try: minimising sensory input, occupational therapy might help you tolerate some inputs better and autism informed therapies might help deal with the anxiety when you feel it.