Support Groups for High Functioning Autism/Asperger Adults who are

Hes  not giving his postcode out mate!

I live in west yorkshire. Seems the further north you go the less well represented autism charities are.

If you live in the Norfolk Area there is a social engagement occurring at the shoebox Cafe in norwich,Norfolk on thursday the 9th June between 1pm- 3pm for individuals with autism without intellectual disability for those aged 18 to 60. 

if you do not live in Norfolk you could contact your local authority and request that the Development Worker  of Adult Social Services Early Help and Prevention team to help from a group similar 

alternatively

autism Nottingham have online social engagements online for those aged over 18 + for anyone with autism without intellectual disability. Look on their facebook page for more details.  

I appreciate that but I also appreciate when it comes to asking for recommendations on certain groups / services it's very location specific. Take NAS itself. There is no NAS local branch within 50 miles of me. If I lived in London there would be 7.

Highly recommend not sharing your location with strangers over the internet. 

I'm in my mid-30s and live in the North West, so I'd be interesting in this as well. I'm stumbling my way through life. More than anything, I'd like peer support. Simply being able to communicate with others who are in the same situation. We should probably form our own peer support group. snow rider 3d

Discord is really good, you just set up a group and then invite who you want to join.  Set up some rules for the group and away you go

My eldest son mentioned Discord - is that a good way to do something like this? I know nothing about Discord - but he seemed to think it was ok. 

No one is saying that. 

Thank you to everyone for your replies.  I think I am going to look into perhaps organising some mutually supportive groups where people can connect and share their experiences and find some support.  I think there is a definite lack for people who are Asperger/High Functioning who do not require specialist support.  A sense of community and a place to share our experiences might be just the thing we need to help us along.

Chris

Yes. It’s not ideal but I’m sometimes at a loss to think of a good alternative. Whichever way you word it it sounds unpleasantly judgemental in some ways - which I really hate. 

I think we're well aware of that here. Functioning is ... unfortunate terminology. I'm no expert but I believe it was adopted in the early days of autism research when researchers wanted to study the difference between autistic children based on their IQ. Telling a parent that their child is in the 'low IQ' group is probably a good way to get that parent to pull their child out of the research. Hence high and low functioning as terms. It's still useful to make a distinction between autistic people based on intelligence, the ICD-11 does for example.

P.S. 'Autism spectrum disorder without disorder of intellectual development' is even more of a mouthful than high functioning autism. So unless you're suggesting we adopt "high IQ autism" I'm not sure there is anything better.

My son doesn’t open up to me about what his ocd thoughts are as he finds them very distressing to talk about - so I don’t know. I don’t even know the subject area of them. I can see what your getting at though - but without knowing I can’t apply what you’re saying to his situation. I can see the distinction you’re making and it’s an interesting perspective. 
The CBT he is having for is OCD hasn’t helped at all - so far he’s had 7 sessions. 

Just out of curiosity - what are his thoughts about. They can give a clue into what he could potentially excel at. I personally feel OCD is a mis-diagnostic of a hyper-active brain (OR maybe this is normal and NT brains are under-active, or maybe it's neither and it's JUST the analytical reasoning desperate to be put to proper use).

It's important to separate issues of Health & Wellbeing / Safety (every time I approach the stairs I think of falling down, thus a defensive being human technique of ensuring I focus on the task of going down them) from a - let's call it The Psychological Thriller in the mind - either induced from a thing one cannot unsee or from application of an analogy to alert matters of safety in Society (these nightmare items also being of Spiritual / Emotional consequence - matters of the 'Soul') from a potential to Specialise. 

I had latched on to Melodies as a child and would have 3 unrelated songs or jingles playing in my head at once. I now work in sound and managed to eventually stream this into just One Song (it does change up) at a time in my head, but the music Never Ceases. Is that OCD? No. It's a brain wired for Melodies and Rhythms and I can put it to use. 

OCD from a medical standpoint is about control. The basis of OCD is about things we cannot control which we want to dominate. It is related to NeuroTypcial competition wired into the social codes. 

Yes - I offered to go and volunteer there  too - if it would help (I also offered NOT to go too - if that would help!). 
He has a thing about associating ‘good’ things with ‘bad’ things - so he’s worried about trying something that he might not like with our local country parks that he enjoys walking in. It’s so complicated for him. He has OCD and problems with trying to control his thoughts and compartmentalise things in his mind. It breaks my heart that his life is so hard - he’s mentally tied up in knots with all his different worries. 
Your online drawing class sounds great. I don’t seem to be able to find these sorts of things online - is there a central place for finding things like this?
I take your point about me ‘taking a leap’ and that it might help my son to see me doing this. It’s a very good point - I’m sure you’re right. Thank you for making that point. I’m very afraid myself and I know it’s not helping my son. I carry a lot of guilt because of this. 
Thank you for your suggestions - I hugely appreciate it

I’m sorry you’ve had that experience of feeling excluded - that horrible. Why are people so unkind? 

I agree with the points you’ve made - most of the support is aimed at people with more obvious challenges from autism and people with learning difficulties. There is a lack of understanding that more ‘high functioning’ (I know that term is not ideal but for want of a better one i will use it) also need support at times. They need a place to go, a source of support. For example my eldest is incredibly intelligent and went to Oxford Uni - on the surface of it people assume he’s doing great and super capable. But he’s actually had some really severe difficulties in many ways relating to his autistic traits - and even though he’s had responsible and decently paid jobs he’s found the transition into the workplace hugely stressful and difficult. He can do the WORK - no problem - it’s all the other aspects that are difficult for him - the social side, the struggle with maintaining focus and concentration on the aspects of the job that don’t interest him, etc. He was near to a nervous breakdown at one point due to trying so hard to fit in to a workplace that was really toxic. He couldn’t relate to any of the people he was working with at all, but made a huge effort to fit in with them and it was exhausting him trying to do that. But all my wider family assume he’s doing brilliantly just because he went to Oxford Uni. They have no idea how being autistic impacts on a person. People don’t understand that it’s very complex - many autistic people can appear fine on the outside but they can be on the verge of collapse mentally and emotionally. 

Could you go with him to the local park to do volunteering in the first instance? It sounds like you are trying to find solutions it's just that you need a helping hand. It's really hard when you get stuck in the "zone" to get out of it then it feeds on itself and further perpetuates it.

I joined an online life drawing class in lockdown, it was really good. Everyone was engrossed in the drawing and we were on mute, then between the poses we would have a brief chat and you could share as much or little as you wanted. I'm not suggesting this for your son of course, but I'm trying to show you can take part with things being alongside others but without having to "join in".

We can lose skills if we don't use them enough and of course it's daunting having to reintegrate yourself with other people, especially if you aren't feeling confident after going through ill health and crisis. Sometimes a leap needs to be made for yourself to break the cycle. I'm being as kind as possible here BTW.  Maybe if your son sees you can do it, it'd give him a bit of a nudge.

Have you rang the NAS helpline for any advice about your son?

I've sent you a PM

I’m not sure if there are groups like that in my local area. I will have a further look. I feel quite anxious about groups in general (especially since the pandemic) - I find online things like this easier. I realise that myself and my son do need to meet actual people (!) in person eventually - we need to build our confidence after the the impact of the pandemic (which made us even more isolated than before). My son is very anxious about trying anything new - especially if it involves meeting people. I recently suggested some volunteering work in local country parks near us (it looks like a good scheme - all outdoors and as much or little involvement as you choose) but he found the idea too intimidating. It’s a vicious circle - we get burn out, we withdraw from life, and then our confidence is further reduced. I think on the surface of it to anyone looking from the outside my family look like we’re coping (we have a home, a car, my husband has a job and we are managing (just!) financially, but we are actually in crisis in terms of our mental and emotional health. We work so hard trying to find ways to feel and do better but we’re just exhausted. I’m sorry - I don’t mean to be so negative. I’m trying to find positive solutions - my son and I just want to be happy and enjoy life again. We seem to have lost our way. I’ll have another look at what’s available locally - just in case I missed something. Thank you for your reply - it means so much that people understand and want to help. We feel so alone sometimes. My son is such a wonderful person, he’s young and he deserves to be enjoying his life. I want to help him but I don’t know how to in many ways - partly because we are so similar, we have similar difficulties.