Support Groups for High Functioning Autism/Asperger Adults who are

I would be interested in this too - I'm in my mid 30's in the North West. I am "muddling through" life. It's peer support I'd like more than anything. Just to be able to talk with people who are in the same boat. Maybe we should set up our own peer support group.

I totally agree. To be honest we are barely ‘muddling through’ at the moment. It’s been really helpful for me to come on here - and it’s made me realise that the people who I can really relate to and talk to are other autistic people. I know it sounds stupid but I hadn’t really grasped this before - I thought I was just rubbish at making friends and I found socialising so stressful that I just withdrew from it. My youngest son got an autism diagnosis about 10 years ago when he was at secondary school - and that’s when I realised that I was autistic too - and things started to make sense.  My husband has lots of autistic traits, and my eldest son is autistic (although he managed to do brilliantly academically so is currently doing quite well in the conventional sense - despite having lots of challenges due to his autism). 
Our situation at the moment is that we have had a very difficult year and both my youngest son and I are just about managing to get through each day - but struggling so much. We are totally burnt out. There is so little help for us. My son gets an hour of CBT on the phone a week - that’s it. I’m on a ridiculously long waiting list for therapy for PTSD. None of this is helping. The best help I’ve had is from coming on here and talking to people who understand what it’s like. It’s been such a relief to realise that we’re not alone in that respect. 

Yes I think MH services are very stretched at the moment - that is my experience. Althought I think they always have been stretched it's just the pandemic has exacerbated this. Have you had a look at non-autistic support groups in your area? Can your MH team direct you to some? (Mine recommended lots of community groups etc that I could have a go at accessing). I did a mindfulness course last year with my local adult education centre - it was free for people with mental health needs (basically anyone then). In my area things are not well publicised so until you go asking you don't know what's on offer.

Yes I think MH services are very stretched at the moment - that is my experience. Althought I think they always have been stretched it's just the pandemic has exacerbated this. Have you had a look at non-autistic support groups in your area? Can your MH team direct you to some? (Mine recommended lots of community groups etc that I could have a go at accessing). I did a mindfulness course last year with my local adult education centre - it was free for people with mental health needs (basically anyone then). In my area things are not well publicised so until you go asking you don't know what's on offer.

My son doesn’t open up to me about what his ocd thoughts are as he finds them very distressing to talk about - so I don’t know. I don’t even know the subject area of them. I can see what your getting at though - but without knowing I can’t apply what you’re saying to his situation. I can see the distinction you’re making and it’s an interesting perspective. 
The CBT he is having for is OCD hasn’t helped at all - so far he’s had 7 sessions. 

Just out of curiosity - what are his thoughts about. They can give a clue into what he could potentially excel at. I personally feel OCD is a mis-diagnostic of a hyper-active brain (OR maybe this is normal and NT brains are under-active, or maybe it's neither and it's JUST the analytical reasoning desperate to be put to proper use).

It's important to separate issues of Health & Wellbeing / Safety (every time I approach the stairs I think of falling down, thus a defensive being human technique of ensuring I focus on the task of going down them) from a - let's call it The Psychological Thriller in the mind - either induced from a thing one cannot unsee or from application of an analogy to alert matters of safety in Society (these nightmare items also being of Spiritual / Emotional consequence - matters of the 'Soul') from a potential to Specialise. 

I had latched on to Melodies as a child and would have 3 unrelated songs or jingles playing in my head at once. I now work in sound and managed to eventually stream this into just One Song (it does change up) at a time in my head, but the music Never Ceases. Is that OCD? No. It's a brain wired for Melodies and Rhythms and I can put it to use. 

OCD from a medical standpoint is about control. The basis of OCD is about things we cannot control which we want to dominate. It is related to NeuroTypcial competition wired into the social codes. 

Yes - I offered to go and volunteer there  too - if it would help (I also offered NOT to go too - if that would help!). 
He has a thing about associating ‘good’ things with ‘bad’ things - so he’s worried about trying something that he might not like with our local country parks that he enjoys walking in. It’s so complicated for him. He has OCD and problems with trying to control his thoughts and compartmentalise things in his mind. It breaks my heart that his life is so hard - he’s mentally tied up in knots with all his different worries. 
Your online drawing class sounds great. I don’t seem to be able to find these sorts of things online - is there a central place for finding things like this?
I take your point about me ‘taking a leap’ and that it might help my son to see me doing this. It’s a very good point - I’m sure you’re right. Thank you for making that point. I’m very afraid myself and I know it’s not helping my son. I carry a lot of guilt because of this. 
Thank you for your suggestions - I hugely appreciate it

Could you go with him to the local park to do volunteering in the first instance? It sounds like you are trying to find solutions it's just that you need a helping hand. It's really hard when you get stuck in the "zone" to get out of it then it feeds on itself and further perpetuates it.

I joined an online life drawing class in lockdown, it was really good. Everyone was engrossed in the drawing and we were on mute, then between the poses we would have a brief chat and you could share as much or little as you wanted. I'm not suggesting this for your son of course, but I'm trying to show you can take part with things being alongside others but without having to "join in".

We can lose skills if we don't use them enough and of course it's daunting having to reintegrate yourself with other people, especially if you aren't feeling confident after going through ill health and crisis. Sometimes a leap needs to be made for yourself to break the cycle. I'm being as kind as possible here BTW.  Maybe if your son sees you can do it, it'd give him a bit of a nudge.

Have you rang the NAS helpline for any advice about your son?

I've sent you a PM

I’m not sure if there are groups like that in my local area. I will have a further look. I feel quite anxious about groups in general (especially since the pandemic) - I find online things like this easier. I realise that myself and my son do need to meet actual people (!) in person eventually - we need to build our confidence after the the impact of the pandemic (which made us even more isolated than before). My son is very anxious about trying anything new - especially if it involves meeting people. I recently suggested some volunteering work in local country parks near us (it looks like a good scheme - all outdoors and as much or little involvement as you choose) but he found the idea too intimidating. It’s a vicious circle - we get burn out, we withdraw from life, and then our confidence is further reduced. I think on the surface of it to anyone looking from the outside my family look like we’re coping (we have a home, a car, my husband has a job and we are managing (just!) financially, but we are actually in crisis in terms of our mental and emotional health. We work so hard trying to find ways to feel and do better but we’re just exhausted. I’m sorry - I don’t mean to be so negative. I’m trying to find positive solutions - my son and I just want to be happy and enjoy life again. We seem to have lost our way. I’ll have another look at what’s available locally - just in case I missed something. Thank you for your reply - it means so much that people understand and want to help. We feel so alone sometimes. My son is such a wonderful person, he’s young and he deserves to be enjoying his life. I want to help him but I don’t know how to in many ways - partly because we are so similar, we have similar difficulties.