Meltdown and headaches

That sounds like a stress headache.

I've mentioned it before, but Autistics are impacted far more severely than NTs. We NEED a small amount of anti-anxiety medication (not anti-depressants) on the odd occasion. Not everyday. We need to be able to shut down the severe impact, think through the moment and plan for next time. Work out what is causing this kind of impact and how to break from it so it doesn't destroy us. 

I’m on antidepressants.  Should I change? 

Anti-Depressants won't help stress. 

Depression can be related to the Adrenal Gland, it can be related to the Thyroid. It could be a lack of Vitamin D, it could be the body shutting down. One thing Absolutely No One feels when depressed, is Stress. Stress (Anxiety) is the body's fight/flight mode activated. It's rarely, if ever, due to internal physiological mechanisms misfiring, but can be misguided or incomplete Perceptions. It's almost always due to external circumstances and many times ones we cannot properly identify and Lack the rules to deal with properly. But if you're in a heightened state of Stress, as an Autistic, you will never be able to think clearly and rationally about what's causing it, and alleviate / fix the problem. We do not live in the Wild, we cannot Out Run something causing stress.

Autistic individuals need Practical Resources to sort out the Sensory impact and Practical psychological 'tools', or Rules to engage with a society which acknowledges ethics while engaging with warped social contracts. Because unlike our NT peers, we are impacted SEVERELY - intensely.

For instance, someone saying Yes to getting a coffee but using that Yes as a possibility not a hard black and white yes. Thus, how can I ever trust they mean what they say? From someone who thinks for a minute or a few days about a Yes or a No, and who makes a point about not making promises, just giving a straight forward answer, this is crazy-making. This small thing can cause anxiety if it's someone we care for. The Rule of Engagement here now shifts from projecting on to them how I would operate, to only trusting them only as far as they're capable of being trusted. I cannot assume they actually mean Yes or No. I now have a whole extra set of rules to check in with when engaging with this person and that can create and Overload, a spinning beach ball, a rainbow-wheel-of-death. This can create anxiety.

However, I shouldn't need to take Xanax to deal with them unless I live with them. And if I live with them one of 3 things need to happen. I need to change and put up reminders they are not to be immediately trusted and be OK with that. Or we need to seek therapy and see if there is a negotiation which can be reached. Or I need to move out. NEVER assume the other will change. If I move out and they desire to change, it is more than reasonable to allow them a year or 2 to become integrated (words match actions) or build integrity. Once a substantial amount of time has concluded we can now operate with the same value, perhaps I can move back in.

This is never a small matter. But if I am in a heightened state of stress, I won't be able to breathe through the moment, identify the problem (it could be the LEDs in my home creating a low grade state of stress), and Fix It. This is what Anti-Anxiety medication is for. We take a micro-dose if needed, apply principles and rules to engage and think through the moment, and Troubleshoot the Problem. We can be naturally skilled at this. For me, it was around 35 - from about age 16 - hunting for perspectives, beliefs, understandings, finding mentors, learning ethics, learning morals (and learning how they change depending on ones economic status), trying out principles and social rules, digging through philosophy, psychology, psychoanalysis and discovering how NT humans treat one another and then discovering better standards of Being Human. x

Hi, my wife has struggled with depression and anxiety a lot in the last few years. She has been prescribed antidepressants along with beta blockers. To be honest, they have made little difference. Our old GP has retired and we have a young one now. The wife has stopped taking the previous drugs and is now prescribed large vitamin D doses along with HRT jell. It has made a difference.

AmadeoSassenach - it's worth it to learn to say This is Helpful or This doesn't Help (You're not helping, This doesn't help me) is really important for these situations. Even "how does this help" or "I can't understand how that would help" or I'm talking about stress not depression, please help.  NT individuals say things they don't mean in my experience. Learning to recognise what is Helpful vs Harmful and express it, kindly or even apologetically if needed (in the UK), can be immensely useful in these circumstances. 

I've been told that GPs will respond to issues with Sleep. So, anxiety/stress to the point of a lack of sleep and calmly but firmly reiterating I would like something for this NOT anti-depressives, is important. A big complication here is that anti-anxiety medication are a class of drugs which one can get quickly addicted to. If taken more than 3-5 days in a row, it's possible to experience symptoms of anxiety which are brought on as a physiological response by the body creating an addiction. So it's important to use them with caution and wisely. Anything can be dangerous if not respected in its moderation, though. I'm always blown away at the type of addiction anti-depressants cause and how one needs a few months of a wind down to exit off of them. That's ludicrous. 

However, this mechanism of expressing you're causing stress to others:

Amadeo said:

She said that I was causing stress and worry to people around me.

- right or wrong, this is a neurotypical tool and one of their social exchanges of guilt. The NT brain will just suppress a desire or emotion when recognised as 'bad' and funnel that energy into some other form, especially if someone in authority suggests the need to banish it. It's a strange process called Oedipalization. 

Of course our feelings can leak out and everyone around us can feel them. But by not going back, she may have assumed the NT use of guilt did the trick and fixed you. So, as an autistic, one has to practice pausing for a minute. Remembering the Hurt or Help issue, and then politely respond with, "This doesn't help" to snap said GP out of their default mode. 

I often wonder if I should talk to my GP too, as there are times I get so anxious or overloaded with life that it makes me shutdown, have a meltdown or even panic attacks. But I have an aversion to discussing it with any GP or medical professional too.

I feel like I either really stuggle to describe what I feel or the person I'm talking to just doesn't understand, or believe, what I'm saying. I've had my distress and attempts to explain what's bothering me ignored so many times I eventually felt like it wasn't worth telling anyone. The last time I went to my GP, which was many years ago and was because I was told to go by my manager at the time (I developed an eating disorder which was impacting my ability to work and live normally), she (the GP) seemed like she was accusing me of doing it to myself. She said that I was causing stress and worry to people around me. That made me never want to go back and get help for anything else.

I wish there were a better way for autistic indiviguals to get help from health services.

I often wonder if I should talk to my GP too, as there are times I get so anxious or overloaded with life that it makes me shutdown, have a meltdown or even panic attacks. But I have an aversion to discussing it with any GP or medical professional too.

I feel like I either really stuggle to describe what I feel or the person I'm talking to just doesn't understand, or believe, what I'm saying. I've had my distress and attempts to explain what's bothering me ignored so many times I eventually felt like it wasn't worth telling anyone. The last time I went to my GP, which was many years ago and was because I was told to go by my manager at the time (I developed an eating disorder which was impacting my ability to work and live normally), she (the GP) seemed like she was accusing me of doing it to myself. She said that I was causing stress and worry to people around me. That made me never want to go back and get help for anything else.

I wish there were a better way for autistic indiviguals to get help from health services.

AmadeoSassenach - it's worth it to learn to say This is Helpful or This doesn't Help (You're not helping, This doesn't help me) is really important for these situations. Even "how does this help" or "I can't understand how that would help" or I'm talking about stress not depression, please help.  NT individuals say things they don't mean in my experience. Learning to recognise what is Helpful vs Harmful and express it, kindly or even apologetically if needed (in the UK), can be immensely useful in these circumstances. 

I've been told that GPs will respond to issues with Sleep. So, anxiety/stress to the point of a lack of sleep and calmly but firmly reiterating I would like something for this NOT anti-depressives, is important. A big complication here is that anti-anxiety medication are a class of drugs which one can get quickly addicted to. If taken more than 3-5 days in a row, it's possible to experience symptoms of anxiety which are brought on as a physiological response by the body creating an addiction. So it's important to use them with caution and wisely. Anything can be dangerous if not respected in its moderation, though. I'm always blown away at the type of addiction anti-depressants cause and how one needs a few months of a wind down to exit off of them. That's ludicrous. 

However, this mechanism of expressing you're causing stress to others:

Amadeo said:

She said that I was causing stress and worry to people around me.

- right or wrong, this is a neurotypical tool and one of their social exchanges of guilt. The NT brain will just suppress a desire or emotion when recognised as 'bad' and funnel that energy into some other form, especially if someone in authority suggests the need to banish it. It's a strange process called Oedipalization. 

Of course our feelings can leak out and everyone around us can feel them. But by not going back, she may have assumed the NT use of guilt did the trick and fixed you. So, as an autistic, one has to practice pausing for a minute. Remembering the Hurt or Help issue, and then politely respond with, "This doesn't help" to snap said GP out of their default mode.