Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello, I have been advised to have an autism assessment. It completely threw me. I have depression and anxiety which isn't responding to anything, and it was suggested to me that I might be autistic.
I then started looking into ASD, and there are some things that fit, but not all.
Terrified of social events, so I don't attend. If I don't know people I have zero confidence in approaching and starting a conversation. Yet, at work I get along with my colleagues without issues (but still choose not to socialise with them outside of work).
Do notice minute details, and point out incorrect things. Sensitive to loud noise, and struggle to concentrate with to much noise.
As a child I had friends, did role play, had an imagination, knew to take turns, made eye contact, was early to talk, walk, no issues with development, didn't have obsessions or collect things, didn't have any repetitive movements. Played sports. I did take things literally.
As a teenager I experienced some bullying, and hid in the bathrooms at recess ro avoid further bullying, and the thought of trying to join another friendship group was to much. Then moved countries, had the best of times, socialised, had friends.
Went to Uni. Ended up exercising 6 plus hours a day, stopped going to social nights out, abandoned swim club in favour of solitary exercise. I felt put of place, and socially awkward.
Since uni have zero social life, no close friends since high school, suffer greatly from depression and anxiety, relied on medication, but that is no longer effective.
And now, I have the 'do I have autism?' thrown in, and it has sent me into turmoil. I didn't think I did, then read a book or two of people's personal stories, and find myself thinking, parts of their writing could be me.
Have others with poor mental health had late diagnosis of autism? Did it help you? Are there other people who got through life until 40 years old with no suggestion that they may be autism, have it suggested or thought they might have?
You don’t have to go through with it if you don’t feel it fits.
And, each individual ASD person is different from the next. Many people with autism have friends, or have had them, have socialised, gone to clubs, pubs and days out…. Some things inside us are so subtle we don’t even realise it. You can’t just read the usual traits and think you’ll have all of them. It doesn’t happen like that.
I’m assuming your 40? I shall be 49 soon. I realised I was autistic in 2019, although I chose not to think about it. I had been fighting to get my daughter an assessment for years. I knew I was a but awkward, with a social anxiety diagnosis, but in no way did I think I had autism. It blew my mind. After a burnout a year later after sticking my head in the sand, I started analysing the things I do. All are normal for me, but not if I’m compared to the average NT female, although I can act and look like one! I am very much Autistic. I’ve been assessed, and I’m awaiting my diagnosis. I’m hoping it will be the right one!
Thanks for your reply.
I want the assessment in case it is ASD related.
I've reachd about as low as I can go, struggling alot day to day, and nothing seems to work.
I suppose if ASD was a factor, that might explain medication not working.
The whole idea is just leaving me feeling overwhelmed and confused.
My adorable nephew was diagnosed as on the spectrum at very young, so his was quite obvious. I suppose I never thought of getting to 40 years or so to be told/suggested that it might be. Quite a lot to get head round. Maybe it will help in time.
I’m still going over stuff, and it’s been a while since I realised. New situations pop in to my head every day, it’s crazy! There’s a long road to go down, but it’s worthwhile to find out how you work.
I had (have?) poor mental health for most of my life. Antidepressants on the one occasion I used them did help, as I was no longer suicidal, however, they didn’t do much for everything else. Some of my episodes of depression, I’ve now identified as burn out. Antidepressants won’t help with that. This new knowledge has been explaining away a lot. I’m sure you’ll find the same.