Published on 12, July, 2020
It’s been a few weeks since I got my diagnosis of Level One and I’m pondering how to best make it known to the colleagues in my department that I am autistic. I know there’s no necessity to do so, but I think I’d benefit from the awareness. This is because I’ve felt a lot of pressure at times (on the rare occasions it’s come up) to be seen to apply for higher grade posts (with some managerial elements, need to innovate etc) in which I know I’d be deeply unhappy, stressed, an would rapidly burn out in. I’m incredibly fortunate to be in a cataloguing-type job that suits me perfectly in a way few other gigs ever would, and I could really do with feeling like I could be a ‘lifer’ in said post, with greater understanding from my colleagues about why orthodox ‘ambition’ just isn’t the healthy path for me. There are also environmental sensitivities I’ve always had to the overhead lighting etc. which I’ve been fortunate enough to get some compromises arranged around with understanding but at times bemused colleagues. When they’ve forgotten and out the big lights on over my desk I’ll sometimes put on sunglasses not to be an *** but just to compensate without making demands. In truth, I’d need very little adjusted gif me if anything, but I think it could be healthy to mention it, once, via an email or something, say that it’s no big deal but it’s just for general awareness and maybe better understanding of what makes me tick, and to show that I have no sense of stigma about it - the opposite as it maybe gives some of my nature/priorities/needs a bit more context.
Has anyone else done this sort of thing? Would it be best to have a private meeting with my line manager and discuss doing the email thing? Or would just emailing the dozen or so people I work with directly, without prior discussion just with management, be appropriate enough? I honestly think that disclosing it could take some pressure (real or imagined) off my shoulders in ways I’m not even sure I can (or need to) fully articulate.
Recent days have seen me begin to re-frame my self-labelling from ‘underachiever’ (overly harsh to begin with) to ‘done pretty damn well considering’ (the statistics I’ve researched so far suggest that even to be in steady full-time employment of any kind is a minority thing for ‘Asperger’s’ people, as is having a university degree etc.). And part of me would like my colleagues to also experience that tilt of the mirror too, and they’re a nice enough bunch to just low-key acknowledge it and that would be that. Does that sound ok? I hope it wouldn’t come over as self indulgent - the opposite of my intention, which is more to do with mutually helpful sharing of my neurodivergency to the collective benefit of good working dynamics and, admittedly, my own sense of well-being.
I’ve just recently dealt with this at work following my diagnosis.
I’d struggled with issues at work for some time before I got my diagnosis so my manager had allowed adjustments before I knew about ASD and I’d told her I was having the assessment so it was easy for me to tell her the diagnosis. I’m also lucky that I’d been referred to occupational health to look at ways work could make adjustments to help me manage and have now got another appointment with them to look at it from an ASD perspective - is this something your company could do? They don’t have to make the adjustments but they might be prepared to, like the lighting etc? I have been allowed to have a dedicated desk and corner of the office where I control the lighting (I have a desk lamp and don’t turn on the overhead light) and have noise cancelling headphones for when it gets too loud and busy. I’ve been able to position my screens so that I’m not particularly noticeable to anyone coming in to the room unless a I choose to be but can see through the small gap between them so I know who is around and be prepared if they’re coming to talk to me.
I did decide to tell my immediate colleagues of my diagnosis and emailed them to explain why I did certain things and didn’t do others; I also said what helped and what I found challenging (including some of the things they did/didn’t do) but that I didn’t expect or need them to do things differently, only that I wanted them to be aware of the impact on me. I worded it as a ‘just to let you know’ kind of thing and kept it quite light (I think anyway!) and brief. I did explain the reasons I didn’t do some of the things everyone was meant to do but that I did plenty of other things instead and whilst I thought it more than balanced out, I was more than happy to pick more up if anyone thought I wasn’t doing my share. I got some really kind, positive, replies and while not everyone did reply or say something I have noticed that they have all made some little adjustments to things I said were challenging for me which is great and while it was a little awkward to start, things are generally better and conversations less difficult. There seems to be less annoyance at me when I do things differently and no one has said I don’t do enough of the work.
I suppose I’d suggest speaking to your manager to let them know you’re going to email your colleagues, just in case any of them then want to talk to your manager - they’ll be ready and know how you want to be heard.