Told off at work

Magnolia1 said:

I am a teacher and there have been lots of changes at my school lately and I have a few meltdowns in the last few weeks. 

Hi M,

Do you have a diagnosis of Autism or a mental health challenge?  

My initial response when I read your post was extreme anger because I have lost count of the times similar things have happened to me in work situations.  I don't work because of my own personal struggles with only being able to take so much of this type of attitude from people in the work place before I get too ill.  I'm also a single parent to an Autistic little lady.  It sounds like your boss is more focussed on the logistics of the job than the human aspect of it.  Her behaviour shows me that she is perhaps not coping well with her job because part of her role is to support and put in place allowances for staff which she is evidently not doing.

The issue I find is that if you call people out on their behaviour, depending on who the person is, they can make your life even more difficult and from reading what you have written, it sounds like your boss may be one of those types of people.  I have experienced a lot of these scenarios in work so it's very hard to deal with and I understand how upsetting it will be for you to deal with.  My experiences have always cost me my job because either the person I've called out has become more nasty and found a reason to fire me or because the atmosphere of the work environment is too toxic and so I get ill and have to give up work.

Is there a manager above her who you can speak to when you are calmer and who you get on with better?  If you were to report her behaviour, would she be able to make your work life more difficult or is she someone who you see little of?  Could you bring someone with you each time you meet with her or tell her you are going to record each meeting to help you remember what was said etc.  This could help you gain perspective when you listen after the actual event to see if the emotion you felt at the time makes things feel worse or if she actually is being a bully.  Does she conduct herself this way with other members of staff too?  It could well be that she's just not great at dealing with people?  She could well be on the spectrum herself and gets triggered by emotional displays because she doesn't know how to deal with it?

They are many reasons for the situation but the bottom line is, are you able to get the support you need at work and do you feel that reporting her would help or hinder your working environment.

Sending you best wishes, I really hope there is a good outcome from your situation. 

Magnolia1 said:

I am a teacher and there have been lots of changes at my school lately and I have a few meltdowns in the last few weeks. 

Hi M,

Do you have a diagnosis of Autism or a mental health challenge?  

My initial response when I read your post was extreme anger because I have lost count of the times similar things have happened to me in work situations.  I don't work because of my own personal struggles with only being able to take so much of this type of attitude from people in the work place before I get too ill.  I'm also a single parent to an Autistic little lady.  It sounds like your boss is more focussed on the logistics of the job than the human aspect of it.  Her behaviour shows me that she is perhaps not coping well with her job because part of her role is to support and put in place allowances for staff which she is evidently not doing.

The issue I find is that if you call people out on their behaviour, depending on who the person is, they can make your life even more difficult and from reading what you have written, it sounds like your boss may be one of those types of people.  I have experienced a lot of these scenarios in work so it's very hard to deal with and I understand how upsetting it will be for you to deal with.  My experiences have always cost me my job because either the person I've called out has become more nasty and found a reason to fire me or because the atmosphere of the work environment is too toxic and so I get ill and have to give up work.

Is there a manager above her who you can speak to when you are calmer and who you get on with better?  If you were to report her behaviour, would she be able to make your work life more difficult or is she someone who you see little of?  Could you bring someone with you each time you meet with her or tell her you are going to record each meeting to help you remember what was said etc.  This could help you gain perspective when you listen after the actual event to see if the emotion you felt at the time makes things feel worse or if she actually is being a bully.  Does she conduct herself this way with other members of staff too?  It could well be that she's just not great at dealing with people?  She could well be on the spectrum herself and gets triggered by emotional displays because she doesn't know how to deal with it?

They are many reasons for the situation but the bottom line is, are you able to get the support you need at work and do you feel that reporting her would help or hinder your working environment.

Sending you best wishes, I really hope there is a good outcome from your situation.