Suicide prevention in autism group

Can you find anyone to investigate my methylone/mephedrone "cure"? 

It really did "snap me out of it" with a single dose, and I've never been as badly affected since...

Well we're moving in the group and hope to get a major grant to fund the study/ app development

Please don't make it a "smartphone only" app!

For some of us (admittedly not many, these days.) a phone is just a phone, a watch is just a watch, and you access the internet using a device with a big screen and fast & reliable data rates called a computer, otherwise it isn't worth doing.

I thought that a person's problem could be sent to all on "the panel" and then answers given from each of the types of responses. Responders could vote for which ever response they feel is best

Our project has yet to be published, but has been running for 6 months

I shared this idea once with someone who told me it helped them, so I'll air it again, if I may..

Those clever scientists now tell me that the mathematics and logic of the universe require many MORE dimensions than we are used to thinking in. 12! If I recall correctly.

Now that's an awful lot of reality that is by their theory existent but inaccessible to us. It occurred to me that heaven, hell, the demons, the aliens, and a whole host of stuff could be locked away in those dimensions, and we would have no way of knowing...

Perhaps the parts of our minds that occasionally manifest the difficult to explain phenomena Rupert Sheldrake explains so readily, also could have existence in those hidden dimensions? Maybe our efforts to reconstruct our dreams are an artifact of trying to interpret a radically different mode of existence in the "closed dimensions"? 

It didn't take me long to start to see death as possibly the point at which your perspective (or "self") shifts from these four regular dimensions into the "larger area under the iceberg"...

It seemed to me that an after death "out of the frying pan into the fire" scenario could easily very much be at play here!!

Suicide therefore, is a foreshortening of this life at a point where the suicidee probably really hasn't really demonstrated much ability to overpower their inner "demons" which could place them at a HUGE DISADVANTAGE if they find themselves in a "demon dimension" after death...

The only sensible course of action (since I've provided a fairly science based place for an "afterlife" to exist, independent of religious considerations) and an explanation of why it's so tricky to access it when you aren't dead, seems to be to try and leave this plane having practiced identifying and beating your own demons. Of course, as you gain skill in this area, your life could well become a bit more meaningful.. 

It's a big part of why I haven't checked out, and also why I'm very set against killing other people, no matter how much they may "deserve it"..

It is certainly not ALL SOLVED, but is an evolving situation and with internet links I believe we can evolve in to something which reflects all of the viewers. The people on here are some of which I hope to get opinions from, but I must avoid taking offence, so welcome you on board

aidie said:

so am i -- u're such a nice person to know

Wow, thanks very much. :-)

My point exactly. I was a Samaritan for a couple of years but was frustrated that we were not allowed to give advice. so left The point about the proposed scheme is that it would get responses from various sources, so leaving a person with lots of choices to help, which if they've already tried the doctor, samaritans etc, they could get another from us PWLE people

so am i -- u're such a nice person to know

aidie said:

one of main reasons for people joining the Samaritians is knowing someonce close/related who killed themselves

That makes sense as they can help others because they couldn't help the person they lost.  The thing that I've learnt about having these thoughts and attempts myself is that sometimes life is too much for some people and no matter how you try to help, it will never be enough.  Some people are unfortunately too ill to be in the world.  I'm glad I wasn't successful in my attempts.

one of main reasons for people joining the Samaritians is knowing someonce close/related who killed themselves

Untoward said:

very close to suicide

That's good that it helped and that you tried that option too.  Perhaps this could be your go to instead of samaritans and other similar organisations because this works for you?  I would try and post when the thoughts are at the thought stage as opposed to the planning stage.  That way you can get them out before they proliferate.  That's the way it works with me anyway.  

My neighbour committed suicide during the first lockdown.  His wife has been incredibly brave and strong because she's lost someone she loved very much and he loved her too.  I do think though that he saw that as the only option which means to me that he must have been in incredible emotional pain.  I don't think it is a selfish decision.  I think it's a desperate choice to make.  No one knows what it's like in someone elses mind.  They can only surmise through their own pain that they have experienced.  I used to feel angry that I couldn't take my own life because I didn't want to multiple my pain into the hearts of others.  The good thing I have found is that if I share the pain before it takes a hold and I remind myself of the people I do love and take comfort from (my daughter) that is enough and I am enough.

I've come to the conclusion at this point in time that life is most definitely worth the fight. :-)

Yes posting on here has been more helpful. I made a thread when I was very close to suicide and there were some very kind supportive people.

I understand what you mean about stereotyped answers from some services.  I use samaritans more to offload the intense stuff because I feel my friends and family would worry too much so I'm okay with the typical responses.  Perhaps you could mention to the people on these services that is how you feel.  I'm very upfront in a tactful way about how I am feeling in any given moment but am acutely aware of how it could affect the other person.  Sometimes I get so frustrated with this need to be perfect that I let it all out but this is rare.  

I feel the same way about thinking about my mum not being around anymore as she is the one who really gets me.  I think it's a negative train of thought because no one knows how the future will unfold.  The new normal of life without your parents may have some wonderful moments and everything in between.  

Are you finding posting on here more helpful?  Perhaps email one of us on here when things are too much?

I hope you find the relief you need in something.

H :-)

I used the Stay Alive app last year. I put pictures of my parents on it, but the sad thing is they won't be around forever and one day I won't have much of a reason to keep on going.

I found Samaritans gave me very cookie cutter copy and paste advice which made me feel worse because of how impersonal it was, I really felt that nobody cared after contacting them. I probably need some real 1on1 therapy from an actual person who gets to know me and my issues. I am not sure an AI could suffice in that regard, because it is the idea that somebody cares that you really need.

Having tried to use chat bots on websites for various services, they are hopeless at finding what you need and only able to regurgitate stock responses based on keywords.

cant find you named in any of the projects there ---- what project are you involved in ?

www.autismresearchcentre.com/.../

It took me years to get off tobacco. It is the only thing I've been addicted to. The hold was strong on my final attempt but I broke it and took ownership of my body again. It is a delight and I recommend it. Any drug I've tried except nicotine I'm able to choose it or not. I use opiates and self administer as needed, rather than use the often prescribed 6 per day I use one when I know I'll exert myself on a stroll. No built resilience, no addiction, no increase in dose, safe. Cannabis too, I can take or leave it and often do both. Cannabis has been the generic all rounder human medicine for tens of millennia and our Sapien form is because of it.

By definition anything that makes me feel better is "addictive" for me. So I never take a drug past the first bag, or whatever. Or to be exact, if I fancy giving it another go I wait a long time before I do..

My amphetamine addiction, for example, seems to be running at about a gram per 2 decades.

I took a gram of mephedrone in about a month and found it interesting but "harsh". On my next foray into such things, I decided to try methylone, but was not getting the expected effect (or very much at all)  when a chap appeared with a bottle of water with 400mg of mephedrone in it, which we shared.

Then I got an effect alright.. It was stronger and nicer than ecstasy, and I felt an "afterglow" for days, 

It was a little over ten years ago, but the effect was so useful to me, that I've reviewed and refreshed the memory as much as possible over the years, just in case I ever got a chance to tell someone who could take it further. 

Magic mushrooms I did when I was younger, and I found them to be strong and wldly unpredicatable, but I was young and stupid, doing it entirely for amusement, and did tend to take overly large doses... I achieved some classical and thankfully very short episodes of psychotic delusions and acute paranoia, which were educational and even entertaining, but ultimately I decided (fairly quickly) potentially dangerous, And as a wiser man than me once said, once you've opened the door to perception, there's no need to keep doing it.

I would most likely have explored MDMA more than I did, but on my first go, I was in an environment where I really did not like the music, I judged it "repetitive and sinister" until my "half a decent quality E kicked in" then I found it most agreeable indeed. That the drug changed my basic values and perceptions I found quite scary, although they seemed to come back afterwards. A good indicator of the effects of a drug is to look at the people who take it as a lifestyle choice, and decide if you want to be like them. People who regularly self adjust their serotonin levels on a temporary basis seemed to be on a roller coaster, and not particularly good people as a group. Cocaine appears a lot with E of course. Now that is a wonder drug for those of us with self image issues, it will make you feel on top of the world (for a short, too short, while). However if you spend a bit of time with coked up people you soon realise it just turn you into an ego-centric, selfish, ***.  

I would always be the first to say that drugs are not a good long term answer. They can at best give temporary relief or distraction, or even allow a psychiatrist to actaully experience a state his patient may be stuck in, or give you the random user an educational experience. But then one day during a long and what seemed to be a terminal depressive state, I fiddled around with a couple of drugs just trying to get a short few hours of "holiday from myself" and I obtained a solution that STUCK.

I hope that helps answer your questions a bit. And I should mention that I do not drink, or do any drug regularly, except a relatively small daily amount of that modern, overly strong pot, and the tobacco I've been intermittently hooked on since I was a kid.

Great. I hope we get somewhere eventually