Suicide prevention in autism group

I used the Stay Alive app last year. I put pictures of my parents on it, but the sad thing is they won't be around forever and one day I won't have much of a reason to keep on going.

I found Samaritans gave me very cookie cutter copy and paste advice which made me feel worse because of how impersonal it was, I really felt that nobody cared after contacting them. I probably need some real 1on1 therapy from an actual person who gets to know me and my issues. I am not sure an AI could suffice in that regard, because it is the idea that somebody cares that you really need.

Having tried to use chat bots on websites for various services, they are hopeless at finding what you need and only able to regurgitate stock responses based on keywords.

I understand what you mean about stereotyped answers from some services.  I use samaritans more to offload the intense stuff because I feel my friends and family would worry too much so I'm okay with the typical responses.  Perhaps you could mention to the people on these services that is how you feel.  I'm very upfront in a tactful way about how I am feeling in any given moment but am acutely aware of how it could affect the other person.  Sometimes I get so frustrated with this need to be perfect that I let it all out but this is rare.  

I feel the same way about thinking about my mum not being around anymore as she is the one who really gets me.  I think it's a negative train of thought because no one knows how the future will unfold.  The new normal of life without your parents may have some wonderful moments and everything in between.  

Are you finding posting on here more helpful?  Perhaps email one of us on here when things are too much?

I hope you find the relief you need in something.

H :-)

Yes posting on here has been more helpful. I made a thread when I was very close to suicide and there were some very kind supportive people.

Yes posting on here has been more helpful. I made a thread when I was very close to suicide and there were some very kind supportive people.

I shared this idea once with someone who told me it helped them, so I'll air it again, if I may..

Those clever scientists now tell me that the mathematics and logic of the universe require many MORE dimensions than we are used to thinking in. 12! If I recall correctly.

Now that's an awful lot of reality that is by their theory existent but inaccessible to us. It occurred to me that heaven, hell, the demons, the aliens, and a whole host of stuff could be locked away in those dimensions, and we would have no way of knowing...

Perhaps the parts of our minds that occasionally manifest the difficult to explain phenomena Rupert Sheldrake explains so readily, also could have existence in those hidden dimensions? Maybe our efforts to reconstruct our dreams are an artifact of trying to interpret a radically different mode of existence in the "closed dimensions"? 

It didn't take me long to start to see death as possibly the point at which your perspective (or "self") shifts from these four regular dimensions into the "larger area under the iceberg"...

It seemed to me that an after death "out of the frying pan into the fire" scenario could easily very much be at play here!!

Suicide therefore, is a foreshortening of this life at a point where the suicidee probably really hasn't really demonstrated much ability to overpower their inner "demons" which could place them at a HUGE DISADVANTAGE if they find themselves in a "demon dimension" after death...

The only sensible course of action (since I've provided a fairly science based place for an "afterlife" to exist, independent of religious considerations) and an explanation of why it's so tricky to access it when you aren't dead, seems to be to try and leave this plane having practiced identifying and beating your own demons. Of course, as you gain skill in this area, your life could well become a bit more meaningful.. 

It's a big part of why I haven't checked out, and also why I'm very set against killing other people, no matter how much they may "deserve it"..

aidie said:

so am i -- u're such a nice person to know

Wow, thanks very much. :-)

My point exactly. I was a Samaritan for a couple of years but was frustrated that we were not allowed to give advice. so left The point about the proposed scheme is that it would get responses from various sources, so leaving a person with lots of choices to help, which if they've already tried the doctor, samaritans etc, they could get another from us PWLE people

so am i -- u're such a nice person to know

aidie said:

one of main reasons for people joining the Samaritians is knowing someonce close/related who killed themselves

That makes sense as they can help others because they couldn't help the person they lost.  The thing that I've learnt about having these thoughts and attempts myself is that sometimes life is too much for some people and no matter how you try to help, it will never be enough.  Some people are unfortunately too ill to be in the world.  I'm glad I wasn't successful in my attempts.

one of main reasons for people joining the Samaritians is knowing someonce close/related who killed themselves

Untoward said:

very close to suicide

That's good that it helped and that you tried that option too.  Perhaps this could be your go to instead of samaritans and other similar organisations because this works for you?  I would try and post when the thoughts are at the thought stage as opposed to the planning stage.  That way you can get them out before they proliferate.  That's the way it works with me anyway.  

My neighbour committed suicide during the first lockdown.  His wife has been incredibly brave and strong because she's lost someone she loved very much and he loved her too.  I do think though that he saw that as the only option which means to me that he must have been in incredible emotional pain.  I don't think it is a selfish decision.  I think it's a desperate choice to make.  No one knows what it's like in someone elses mind.  They can only surmise through their own pain that they have experienced.  I used to feel angry that I couldn't take my own life because I didn't want to multiple my pain into the hearts of others.  The good thing I have found is that if I share the pain before it takes a hold and I remind myself of the people I do love and take comfort from (my daughter) that is enough and I am enough.

I've come to the conclusion at this point in time that life is most definitely worth the fight. :-)